Persona - A Disturbing Psychological Thriller Read Free Page A

in concentration. ‘So you’re still looking for your place?’
    ‘I don’t know.’ He shrugged. ‘I’m content, but there’s so much I’ll never know.’
    ‘I think your place is in a psychiatric ward, friend.’ She laughed playfully.
    ‘Thanks, Stacey. So are you fulfilled?’
    ‘Yes.’ She reached for her beer, but then decided that she couldn’t drink any more.
    Col stared at her intently. ‘When you’re fifty, no one will want to sleep with you.’
    Stacey gasped. ‘Why not?’
    ‘Because you’ll be ugly.’
    Her heart sunk, but she soon perked up - she’d be happily married by the time she was fifty, wouldn’t she? She dipped a finger in a pool of beer on the table and drew an incomplete circle. ‘My husband would want to sleep with me.’
    ‘Well of course he would, but you’ll never be able to sleep around.’
    Her enthusiasm waned. His company was becoming unpleasant. ‘So what? If I’m in love I won’t want to.’
    ‘Yes,’ Col said impatiently, ‘but the point is that between the ages of sixteen and, say forty if you’re lucky, people will want to sleep with you. For twenty years you could be having amazing, constant sex. That is your privilege for that short and priceless period only. So are you making the most of it?’
    Stacey felt drained. He was no different. ‘I’m happy with my boyfriend’ she said, looking down. A poor liar, she turned bright red - she had no boyfriend.
    ‘So when you’re eighty years old and dying, are you going to look back and feel glad that you were never a slut?’
    ‘Yes, because I was... I was respected .’ She pointed an index finger at the ceiling. ‘Respect is very important.’
    ‘Bullshit,’ he shouted louder, ‘you wasted your potential.’
    She closed her eyes then quickly opened them, afraid that she would fall asleep. ‘So you think being a slut puts me in my right place?’
    He locked into her eyes. ‘For that twenty years, Stacey, that’s where you’re meant to be...’
    Her feelings were mixed and complex. She didn’t believe this man was trying to offend her - he expressed his opinions too passionately. On the surface he was a strong individual who would not hide his beliefs, however unacceptable other people found them, but she was sure that deep down he was confused and scared he couldn’t fit in. Earlier, even his friend had disassociated himself from Col when Fay asked if they were the same. Maybe Col was right about fate, maybe her role was to guide him. She forced herself to break out of her daydream… she was being too romantic again. It was too early to tell anything. And she was way too drunk to judge him.
    She sipped more beer. That nagging fear still haunted her - that she would never find someone. It clamped her heart like a vice. She took a breath. ‘If you were my boyfriend,’ she said, ‘how could I be committed to you?’
    ‘By staying with me,’ he responded. ‘It doesn’t mean you can’t sleep around.’
    He was serious, so serious. Though he was powerfully built, he appeared to her so vulnerable. If he could find the strength to open himself up, accept his weaknesses and show a willingness to overcome them, then she would… she would… give him a chance. It wouldn’t hurt to give him a chance, would it? She was so lonely... ‘So we’d both live like prostitutes?’ Her tone was softer.
    ‘Yeah, while we can.’
    ‘So if you were my boyfriend, I’d have to endure you spending countless nights with other women?’
    ‘Stacey,’ he sighed, ‘our love for each other would outweigh everything else - infidelity, jealousy… anything you could name.’
    She smiled at him. ‘Did you form all these ideas yourself?’
    He nodded. ‘I always do.’

 
     
    4
     
    Ryan had run five miles on the treadmill in twenty-seven minutes and was pleased with the workout. For just over a year he’d lived in south-west London, in expensively priced, private accommodation. It seemed he was the only user of