Peace Read Free Page A

him like an old, violent friend. “Deborah, he was going to let me take the blame for Perry’s death. He hired a lawyer. And most importantly, he knew the guilt and pain I felt about the fight I had with Perry was eating me up . . . and he let me suffer. If I hadn’t pushed him, if my mother hadn’t pushed him to admit everything . . . if Detective Reynolds and Sheriff Kramer hadn’t questioned him so much, pressing him to finally admit the truth, I could be the one sitting in prison.” He still felt dizzy when he remembered sitting with his father at their kitchen table, and discovering that his daed had been willing to do whatever it took to protect himself—and keep his own actions a secret.
    His wife sighed, and the look on her face told him that he was trying her patience something awful.
    So he held his tongue. Barely.
    â€œWhat Aaron did was wrong, and I know he’s sorry for it, too,” she finally said. “But he’s paying the price now.”
    â€œSo am I,” he said, unable to keep the bitterness out of his voice.
    â€œJacob, don’t forget that it was my brother who was murdered.”
    â€œI never—”
    She held up a hand. “What I’m tryin’ to say is . . . if I can find it in my heart to forgive your father, I would think you could, too. It’s our way, you know.”
    She was referring to one of the hallmarks for the Amish faith. To turn the other cheek. To seek to forgive. To rely on God for retribution, not to take matters into one’s own hands.
    But while it was a commendable belief, it wasn’t so easy to put that philosophy into action. At the moment, he wasn’t ready to forgive, and there was no way he could convince Deborah to understand.
    He didn’t know how to make her understand things from his point of view. He’d already tried, but she had obstinately stood firm.
    â€œDeborah, I know you don’t approve, but you’ve got to at least try to see things my way. I can’t change how I feel.”
    Setting the letter on the counter, she looked at him sadly. “Please pray about this. I know if you let the Lord guide you, your burden will feel lighter,” she murmured, resting her hand on his shoulder. “Especially now, at Christmas.”
    â€œChristmas is just another day, Deb.” To his shame, instead of accepting her gesture of comfort, he shrugged off her hand.
    Visibly stung, she stared at him for a long moment, then walked out of the store.
    Leaving him alone with his hurt and his pain . . . and now his guilt. The day he’d married Deborah had been one of the happiest of his life. He’d felt so hopeful that all the pain of the past year and the long murder investigation were behind him.
    Now, six months later, he was even starting to feel like people in Crittenden County were accepting him again. They were beginning to frequent the store more, and no longer avoiding him at church.
    But now this friction caused by his father’s need for absolution was creating a fissure in his fragile new bond with Deborah. If they couldn’t see eye to eye, he knew things were going to turn dark again.
    And though it was almost Christmas, he couldn’t see any way around that.
    She’d done it. She’d gone outside with a damp washcloth and a bottle of cleaning solution and had wiped up Chris’s blood from the sidewalk.
    After that, Beth had taken the broom and carefully swept off his footprints from the driveway.
    With the snow that was expected soon, the last traces of his walk to the inn would be gone.
    Now it was time to tend to him.
    She’d been pacing outside Chris’s room for a good three minutes. It didn’t feel like that, though. It felt like an eternity. The worst things in life really did seem to take the longest.
    Every time she passed in front of the door, a little voice inside her head encouraged her to go