Outstripped Read Free Page B

16 th December. We did some crazy
shit over there but I don’t remember fucking anyone, and definitely not
Suzanne. She wasn’t even there.” “Was she?”
    “I do
remember the best blowjob I ever had though.”
    Here’s
the whole flashback............
    Luke had
arranged the weekend in Amsterdam for Graham’s Stag do. Dublin was old hat and had been over done now
anyway, and somebody had said that Prague was a rip off.
    There
were eight of them in all, and they were staying at the Amsterdam Marriott
opposite the Leidseplein, which is a large open plaza area at the southern end
of Amsterdam's central canal ring. They were perfectly positioned from here as
they could walk to any, and all, of the restaurants, hotspots, nightlife and other places that Amsterdam is famous
for and the main reason they were here.
    Anyway
back to what happened.
    Luke liked
to do these things properly, so for the main event (Saturday night), they all
had dinner suits on. Not only did it make the occasion ‘special’ it also
ensured no one got lost. They all looked the part. Pretty
damn’ smart. The “Rat Pack” reincarnated.
    The
evening started with a Dinner Cruise around the famous canals. One and a half hours of culture and fine seamanship (It’s a mystery
how the helmsmen get round those ninety degree bends without hitting anything). It was enough to bore the pants off anyone! Luckily they had a shit load of beer and wine to accompany
them.
    They
disembarked the good ship “Luna” and were joined by two girls they had met the
previous evening in a cozy little bar in the red light district (yeah right?),
over the canal and opposite the “Oude Kerk” (Old Church). Aya and Famke were
anything but shy and retiring. A bloody good laugh and “hot as”. One blond. One
brunette. Both long.
    They
were suitably attired for the occasion. Mind you they had been given
instructions. “They could only come along if they dressed up and they had to be up for anything .” After all, it was a
Stag Do. Nothing in particular was planned, other than drinking, nightlife,
more drinking, red lights, some more drinking, strip clubs and the usual, but ‘who knows where they might
end up?’
    Aya was
in a strappy number, skirt above the knees, black heels and a short jacket.
Nice! It was cold of course but they weren’t intending to spend all night out
on the streets. Famke had a flared black dress on, bustier topped with a wrap and some high ankle boots. Also very nice!
    Off they
went, down the Leidsestraat, following the tramlines, in and out of bar after
bar. Graham was being suitably plied with more alcohol than mere man can handle, in keeping with all
the best Stag Night traditions, and things couldn’t possibly get better.
    But they
did! Wayhey!
    They all
poured out of yet another bar and four of the lads decided it was time for a
photo opportunity. Now we all know the Dutch are a little more liberal than the
rest of the world when it comes to drugs and sex and, well, most things.
They’re also a little more relaxed about public toilets, specifically men’s
toilets, or urinals as we know them. The thing is they have them in the
streets.
    No
surrounds. No privacy. Literally, a freestanding urinal.
    If you
actually take the time to think about them, they’re not such a bad idea.
    Consider.
When ‘Neanderthal Man’ comes out of ‘drinking hole’, pissed and ‘in need of
one’, what better contraption is there than a street urinal. It’s got to be an
improvement on a tree or a shop window. And he’s not really interested in
protecting his dignity at this stage in proceedings. I suppose it’s a little
sexist, but then, what kind of facility would be appropriate for Neanderthal woman ?
    Anyway,
Graham, Sebastian and two others decided to relieve themselves at one of these
four way stations, set up like a drinking fountain, only the fluids are
designed to flow in the wrong direction.
    It made
for a perfect ‘Kodak moment’ complete with a