Outside The Lines:: Third Person Narration Read Free Page A

have been his first clue; favors were dangerous things—Johnny had agreed to fill in for a few days on what was supposed to be a simple, no-contest, amicable divorce between two clients who’d been on Dan’s caseload and at his house for dinners countless times.  
    Until now, it had been precisely that: amicable, easy, simple.  
    Then came the Jauntie Report, as Johnny had taken to calling it over the past few hours.  
    And now Ms. Jauntie, nowhere to be found, not answering her phone or texts.   Like a sprite, she’d worked her mischievous, destructive magic, then disappeared.
    And now ‘Buck’ Billings, the normally icy-cool president judge of the district’s juvenile court system, was on an apparently-unstoppable rant about the paperwork Ms. Jauntie had requested, how it was both unnecessary and had already been provided, how he did not want the divorce delayed past the new year, and how he absolutely, positively, did not want it to go to court.
    Johnny looked at Mrs. B’s almost-lawyer and didn’t see how that was possible.
    “This was supposed to be a done deal,” the judge railed, pacing the room. “Anna and I have already agreed on everything, haven’t we, Anna?” He didn’t wait for confirmation. “And now this, this accountant, ” he spat the word like a curse, “is asking for all sorts of unnecessary paperwork and it all comes up while Dan is gone, which is highly suspicious.”
    Johnny slid his gaze away from the window he’d been staring out. “Suspicious?”
    “And now,” the judge’s voice dropped to a hiss as he leaned across the table, closer to Johnny, “now that goddamned lawyer of hers is frothing at the bit.”
      Farrah the goddamned lawyer recrossed her legs angrily, staring over the judge’s shoulder at Johnny.
    Way to go .   “You’re mixing your metaphors, judge,” Johnny said, then leaned forward.   “And they can hear everything you say.”
    The judge straightened with a snap. “This ends here. We will move forward with the valuation previously agreed to, it will not go to court, and it will be done by year’s end. Which is four days away.” He aimed his stabbing finger at Johnny.   “ Four days— did you know that, Danger?”  
    A hard silence fell.   Mrs. B’s gaze slid over.   Farrah stopped jiggling her foot.
    “Five,” Johnny told him.
    The judge stared. “What?”
    “Twenty-six plus five is thirty-one.”
    More confused silence.   “What the hell are you talking about?”    
    “Today is the twenty-sixth. You want this done by the thirty-first. That leaves five days, not four.”
    The judge’s eyes narrowed. “Are you joking?”  
    “I’m minusing.”
    A shocked silence fell.   “You think you’re smart?” hissed the judge.
    Johnny met his eye. “It’s just subtraction.”
    Farrah the angry lawyer gave a little gasp. The judge’s face flushed red and his hands fisted at his sides.  
    Mrs. Billings went into motion, popping forward in her chair, sliding a stack of papers closer to Johnny.  
    “I’m sure Ms. Jauntie did not intend to slow things down, Donald,” she said calmly. “She knows how much we want this settled by year’s end. Perhaps if you simply supply the paperwork requested, this will all move along swiftly?”  
    “I have supplied it,” the judge seethed through gritted teeth.    
    Farrah the unofficial lawyer leaned forward. “I think the wisest, simplest thing is simply to renegotiate the previous, tentative agreement, and come to a new understanding. Before it goes to court.”
    The threat was delivered lightly, but the judge rounded on her. His silvery head of hair almost glowed in the cold morning light coming through the windows as he stabbed the air with a finger.  
    “No.”
    “Fine,” she said evenly. Her gaze moved to Johnny. “What are you prepared to offer?”  
    The judge said “Nothing,” at the same moment Johnny said, for the fifth time, “I’m not his lawyer.   I’m not