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Walt let out a groan as he sat straight up in his chair. His large hand wrapped around the coffee mug as he remembered a time when there would’ve been more than just coffee in that mug. Walt was only forty years old, but had been through a lot in his years. His knees ached as he stood to get more coffee. As he poured the black liquid, he wondered how many more pots of Colombian gold he had left. As much as he drank, he knew it wouldn’t last long.
Walt had been the director at the Will to Heal rehab center for the last five years and couldn’t imagine being anywhere else. He had traveled a tough road to get where he was and knew that anyone could make the same journey if they only got the right kind of help.
He’d been twelve years old the first time he snuck down to the kitchen the morning after his parents had one of their epic parties and sampled various liquids from the scattered cups. He wasn’t crazy about the taste, but couldn’t deny the effect the liquids had on his body. They made his body tingle while his head swam in a numbing swirl. Cigarettes had been next, and he’d loved to inhale the smoke deep into his lungs to feel the rush it gave his body.
As Walt looked back on those early days of experimenting with alcohol and cigarettes, he understood what was happening to his body. It was like a switch had turned on in his brain, and if he tried to stop his experimentation, his body responded with pain and uncontrollable craving. He hadn’t experimented with marijuana for too long. It’d never given his brain the kind of stimulation he craved. But the pills...oh, those pills. That was when addiction had grabbed him.
Uppers, speed, bennies, black beauties, kibbles and bits, r-ball, vitamin-R...you name it and Walt was all over it. His friend’s older brother, Devin, had introduced him to amphetamines and Walt had never looked back. Devin had said that the great thing about them was that they were found in a lot of people’s medicine cabinets. He’d even told Walt what to look for.
Adderall, Dexedrine, Procentra, Zenzedi…you see any of these, you grab ‘em, bro, Devin had told him.
Soon he’d been raiding both his parent’s and his friend’s bathrooms looking for a score. It hadn’t taken long for him to start breaking into houses. The first time Walt had gone to juvie was when he’d tried to break into his neighborhood Walgreens pharmacy. Juvie had been the first place he’d had contact with a drug counselor. At the time, he’d laughed it off. He remembered thinking that there was no way he was an addict. Like many before him, he thought he could quit at any time.
You’re on a very dangerous road, Walt, his counselor had lectured. The decisions you make here will affect you the rest of your life.
The counselor had been absolutely right, but Walt hadn’t wanted any of it. He did his time, and when he’d been released, picked right up where he’d left off.
Walt had just been shy of turning fourteen.
From pills, Walt slid into cocaine and heroin, and the era of his heavy using began. His life had revolved around drugs, and his only thoughts had been about when and where his next score would come from. His ‘downs ’ had eventually progressed to the point where using wouldn’t even make him high anymore. He’d been using just to get ‘normal.’
He’d been lucky, though, and he laughed at using the term ‘lucky. ’ He’d been young, and there’d always been an older guy willing to support his habit in return for favors. By the time he turned seventeen years old, Walt had seen and done things that no teenager should’ve ever been exposed to.
Ironically, a life-threatening drug overdose was what saved his life. An icy-cold shudder ran up and down his spine as he thought about how close he’d come to dying. It’d happened when he was eighteen. His usual dealer had been busted, so he’d had to buy from a new one who had recently relocated from Canada. Walt had