Odds on Oliver Read Free

else I might have to blow the kid’s brains out,” he said.
    Oliver considered throwing up. It is a well-known fact that people don’t like to hang on to a person who is throwing up.
    â€œIt’s jammed.” The girl poked at the drawer. “Maybe if you …”
    The man loosened his grip on Oliver and leaned over the counter to give the cash register a few pokes. It stayed closed.
    â€œHere’s where it’s sticking,” the girl said. “Try again.”
    The man leaned even closer to get a good look, and the checkout girl grabbed his arm and twisted it behind him. Oliver thought he heard something snap. The man howled and let go of Oliver completely.
    â€œRegister five!” the checkout girl hollered. “Attempted robbery!”
    â€œOoowww!” the man howled.
    A sudden flurry of activity took place. The store manager and the butcher came running. The butcher wore a dirty white apron and the store manager wore a very nervous expression.
    â€œGood work, Lila,” the manager said when the butcher had subdued the robber and led him away. Oliver wondered if the butcher was going to lock the robber in the meat freezer until the cops came.
    â€œFast thinking,” the manager went on. “I’ll see you get a commendation from the top brass for this.”
    â€œI’d rather have a week off with pay,” said Lila.
    â€œHow’d you do it?” asked the manager.
    â€œI got my brown belt in karate last week,” Lila said.
    The manager noticed Oliver for the first time. “Here, son,” he said, scooping up a handful of Milky Ways and Snickers bars from the display shelf. He stuffed them into Oliver’s hands.
    â€œHe was gonna blow the kid’s brains out,” Lila remarked.
    When Oliver got home his mother asked, “Where’s the milk?”
    â€œI musta left it on the counter,” Oliver said.
    â€œGood thing your head is fastened on tight or you’d forget that too,” Oliver’s mom said.
    Oliver went into the bathroom and locked the door. He blew on the mirror and wrote his name in the foggy circle his breath made.
    Oliver was here , he wrote. You blew it, he thought sadly. You blew it.
    At this rate he’d never make hero, he realized.
    He unlocked the bathroom door and went back to the kitchen.
    His mom was on the telephone. When she hung up, he said, “Mom, can I take karate lessons?”
    â€œWe’ll see,” his mother said.
    Which probably meant no, Oliver thought glumly.

5
    U P A T REE
    â€œThe guy was really weird,” Oliver said. “So he gets me by my neck and he goes like this …” Oliver demonstrated, using Arthur’s neck.
    â€œQuit it,” Arthur said. “That hurts.”
    â€œThen the checkout girl twists his arm and I think she broke it,” Oliver went on. “I even heard it snap. She’s got this brown belt in karate. She was a hero. The guy was going to blow my brains out.”
    â€œMaybe you could sell this to the movies,” Arthur said. “Then they’d make it into a sitcom and you’d be rich and famous.”
    â€œA stretch limo with two gold telephones wouldn’t be bad,” Oliver said dreamily.
    â€œListen, Ol, I wrote a short story,” Arthur said. “Beany Allen says Ms. Carbery makes you write a short story in fifth grade, so I’m getting a head start. Listen.”
    â€œHold it,” Oliver said. “I’m tired. I almost got my brains blown out today. I don’t want to hear your dumb short story.”
    Arthur pulled a piece of paper and a pen from his pocket. Then he cleared his throat and read: “‘It was a dark and stormy night.’”
    â€œYou stole that from Snoopy,” Oliver said. “Snoopy always starts his stories like that.”
    â€œSo? Snoopy’s only a dog,” Arthur said.
    â€œBetter not let Edna hear you say that,” Oliver said.