Ocean of Words Read Free Page B

bring him over the moment he returned.
    Kong arrived at my office two hours later. He said he had talked to her, but it didn’t help. “How come?” I asked.
    “She cried her heart out. I can’t bear to hurt her. Besides …”
    “Besides what?”
    “I’ve promised to marry her.”
    “What? That’s out of the question. You must stop it.”
    “Instructor Pan, Mali isn’t a bad girl. She loves the Party and Chairman Mao. You can go ask the commune members.”
    “I don’t want to judge whether she is good or bad. You’re a Party member and must not marry a capitalist’s daughter. Do you understand?”
    “Please help me, my instructor!”
    “I am helping you, to get out of this mess.” I lost my temper, though I was well known for being patient.
    “No, I can’t hurt her. It’s too much for me.”
    “All right, let me lay bare everything here. You must make your choice between that girl and your future. If you choose her, you’ll be expelled from the army.”
    “Damn,” he cried. “I can’t decide.”
    “Then let me help. Tell me, can you give up your party membership for her?”
    He stared at me in silence and seemed overwhelmed by the dark picture. I continued, “What would your parents say if they were here? Would they allow you to take a capitalist’s daughter as your bride?”
    “No, they wouldn’t.”
    “Right, because it would bring shame to your family. Tell me again, don’t you want to be an exemplary soldier and send home a red certificate?”
    He didn’t answer. I asked again. “Don’t you want to be an officer someday and command troops?”
    I took his silence as acquiescence. “See, you’ve been lightheaded these days and never thought of the price you’ll have to pay. No man in his right mind should ruin his future thisway. I don’t mean you shouldn’t have love. We are all human beings and have emotions, but there are things more important, beyond love. A lot of revolutionary martyrs sacrificed their lives for the Party and the New China. Didn’t they have love? Of course they did. They loved our nation and the revolutionary cause more than themselves. Now you are merely asked to quit an abnormal affair, but you say you can’t. How can the Party trust you?”
    He remained silent. I felt my talk had struck him hard and was boosting his determination, so I ordered, “Write her a letter and say it’s over.” To comfort him some, I added, “Little Kong, it’s not worth it to make such a sacrifice for a girl. A real man must never put a woman before his career. I tell you this not as a Party secretary but as an experienced elder brother. Believe me, someday you’ll marry a girl better than An Mali in every way. For the time being, it may hurt, but you’ll get over it soon.”
    “All right,” he muttered, “I’ll write her a letter.”
    “Good. After you finish it, bring it over. I’ll have it delivered to her. This may make you feel better.”
    At dinner I told Commander Deng about the talk and assured him that this was final. He also thought it was wise to resort to writing and having the letter delivered for Kong, because that would prevent him from seeing the girl again. In the evening the letter arrived, and we were surprised by its ludicrous brevity. Deng complained, saying we had to make Kong write another one, but I felt this would do, short as it was. The letter read:
    June 12
    Mali,
    Please forget me. I love you, but we belong to different classes. There is no way for us to be together. I will not see you anymore. Take care.
    Kai
    With my fountain pen I deleted the words “I love you, but,” so that the writing became pithier. Meanwhile, I couldn’t help wondering why Kong hadn’t written a full page. He was one of our best writers. Very often he read out his long articles at lunch to the entire company, showing off his verbal command. A typical petty intellectual.
    Immediately we dispatched Orderly Zhu to the Youth Home with the letter. An hour later