Nobody Loves a Bigfoot Like a Bigfoot Babe Read Free Page B

were sexually abused by Bigfoot. A certain member of Beau's family, namely his father, Walt Flucker, claimed he'd also been regularly abducted by Bigfoot, not to mention
regularly
taken by tall, blond aliens from the planet Abba.
    "Oh yeah . . . gone missing has he? Spent the night in the woods again, have we?" Lou asked sarcastically.
    She sniffed Naomi's filthy t-shirt. It stank of wacky tobaccy. The sheriff shook her head warily, unable to summon up the tiniest amount of concern for Beau's whereabouts.
    "Hope you told your parents where you were last night?" she warned with raised eyebrows.
    Chad, a pimply-faced, scrawny, seventeen -year-old with a mop of black hair, jumped nervously up and down on the spot. He pointed into the woods, directly at MB.
    "Beau went to take a piss behind a tree and that was the last we saw of him . . . honest."
    Lou tilted her head and folded her arms as she looked at Chad. She gave him a dubious look. She wagged her finger.
    "Better not be messing with me, Chad, I'm not in the best of moods right now."
    "You gotta believe us, Sheriff," Debbie interrupted. She was an overweight, bespectacled seventeen-year-old with short, spiky black hair.
    They were certainly putting on a good act, thought Lou. They seemed genuine for once.
    "I suppose you're going to tell me Bigfoot took Beau . . . again?"
    "Well, yeah? I guess … Maybe … I don't know." Chad said. "It obviously wasn't aliens."
    Naomi nudged Chad in his guts with her elbow, beseeching, "Chad's right . . . it wasn't the aliens . . . we don't know who or what took Beau, but it's the truth . . . he's gone missing . . . and for real this time."
    Lou rubbed her throbbing temple and sighed. Well this was a new slant on things. Beau's friends always claimed they knew what had abducted Beau-a Bigfoot. She sighed heavily. What if they were telling the truth this time? Lou doubted it, but what if they were? What a fucked-up start to the day.
    But Sheriff Lou had her job to do and that meant to serve the community to the best of her abilities. And that meant if someone, especially some snot-nosed kid went missing she had to take it seriously. But how seriously? That was the all-important question.
    Well, that depended on the circumstances and the person who had gone missing. How could she take Beau Flucker's disappearance seriously with his past history of fake abductions? But she knew she'd at least have to go through the motions and look like an interested sheriff doing her honor- bound duty.
    Lou blew out her cheeks and sighed heavily, "Okay . . . where exactly were you when Beau supposedly disappeared."
    Naomi pointed in the direction they had come from, a ways up the road. "In the clearing . . . up at Little Beaver."
    Little Beaver! That place is becoming a tourist trap for alien abductions and Bigfoot sightings. She was reminded of last year's incident when two locals went missing for almost two days. She was on the verge of contacting the FBI when Walt turned up with both of them, claiming to have been abducted by aliens and experimented upon. All three would not divulge what these experiments were.
    Better take a look,
thought Lou. She scanned from one innocent face to the next and knew beyond all doubt she should have stayed in bed this morning. Nothing ever happened in Big Beaver. She walked up to the VW van and peered in the back to see a mess of camping gear, but no Beau.
    "One of you had better come back with me. That's you, Chad."
    Chad perked up and looked ready to go with a wide grin.
    "You two kids had better get back to town." She gave the two girls a questioning look. "I don't suppose you've been drinking and puffing on the magic dragon?"
    Debbie and Naomi shook their heads, no, and tried to look like two little schoolgirls. They failed miserably.
    Lou smiled knowingly, "What the heck . . . I was your age, once." She looked at Chad. "Come on, dufus, you can show me where you were last night."
    "Right on, Sheriff!"
    Lou turned