No Way to Say Goodbye Read Free Page B

with an expression of confusion on her face. “‘A prisoner of his dysfunctional family’s broken dreams in tiny Endora, Gilbert (Depp)’ – I love him! – ‘serves as breadwinner and caretaker for his mother and siblings following his father’s suicide, his older brother’s defection… Momma (Darlene Cates)’ – who’s she? – ‘is a morbidly obese shut-in’ – Oh, my God! – ‘who hasn’t left the house in seven years and her children include retarded Arnie…’ Wait a minute – DiCaprio’s retarded? You are taking the piss!”
    Mary couldn’t help but enjoy Penny’s disgust. “Ivan said it was funny in parts,” she said.
    “Funny? Yeah, it really sounds hilarious!” And then it dawned on Penny. “Jesus, it was filmed in 1993! DiCaprio’s retarded and his balls hadn’t even dropped! What am I supposed to do with this?” She was holding the DVD in the air like a demonstrator in a supermarket.
    “I don’t know – what would you have done with it if DiCaprio wasn’t retarded and his balls had dropped?” Mary grinned.
    “Good point,” Penny agreed. “Still, this does not sound remotely shallow.” She sighed, laying the DVD on the coffee-table.
    “Are you OK?” Mary asked, concerned. She seemed OK but she was a master in the art of masking. Mary had often thought what a great actor she would have made, but Penny had joined an acting class one summer and hated it, calling those around her a bunch of jumped-up talent-free tossers. Then she had made what could only have been described as a grand exit. Now she was smiling but Mary sensed a problem. Maybe the dream was about Penny.
    “I’m fine. It’s just the endless rain,” Penny lied. She wasn’t ready to admit that she and Adam had ended their relationship, first because she wanted to forget but also because she wasn’t sure that either of them would be able to stick to their guns. After all, they had broken up many times before. “Just put the film on and pass the bottle.”
    Mary was suspicious but she didn’t say anything. When Penny was ready to share her problem, she’d be there to listen. She knew what it was like to have people stick their noses in.
    They were halfway through the film and Penny was finishing off the wine. Mary seemed to be enjoying the sad tale. Crispin Glover as the undertaker made her laugh and Darlene Cates prompted an “Aaah!”
    By contrast Penny mumbled, “Kill me!” several times while she downed her wine and played with her broken fingernail.
    “If I didn’t know DiCaprio was an actor I’d believe he was retarded,” said Mary. “He’s really pulled it off.”
    “Yeah, it’s great,” Penny said.
    “Like that Down’s syndrome kid – you know, the one on that TV show with the blonde girl who did Romeo and Juliet with DiCaprio. What’s his name?”
    “Corky,” Penny said, perking up.
    “Yeah, Corky. He was great.”
    “He was. Wrong girl, though – you’re thinking of the blonde who went out with the HIV-infected teenager.” Penny was looking for the corkscrew.
    “Rob Lowe’s brother?”
    “Yes.”
    “I thought she went on to play Juliet?” Mary said.
    “No, that was the redhead from that other show. She was in love with the dyslexic rebel and had a gay best friend.”
    “Funny – I could have sworn Juliet was Corky’s sister,” Mary said.
    “The guy who played her boyfriend is a lead singer with a rock band now,” Penny said, still searching for the corkscrew.
    “Rob Lowe’s brother?”
    “No, the dyslexic rebel.”
    “Oh. Any good?”
    “Haven’t a clue,” she said, finally locating it. She opened the second bottle and poured a glassful.
    Meanwhile, on screen, DiCaprio was being left to freeze to death in a cold bath overnight, forgotten by Depp, his horny brother.
    “Kill me!” Penny repeated.
    “We can turn it off,” Mary offered, battling the urge to cry for the boy, shaking and blue-lipped, on the screen.
    “No. It’s fine. Seriously, it’s not