Night Without Stars Read Free Page B

friends, the latest novels and sometimes, to please her husband, cars. She said that cars were Walters middle-aged vice. When he felt restless or discontented he took a new car the way other men took a mistress.
    To a man with a mission they would have been supreme time-wasters, but just then it was ideal company for me. There was always something of interest happening, plenty of new society, no responsibilities or worries, and very little opportunity of being alone. I had my glasses changed into the fashionable pale rims and so looked exactly like everyone else.
    But in the end I tired of it. The deterioration was going on all the time. The pupil was becoming more or less the same colour as the iris. That wasn’t the way Halliday would have described it, but that was how it looked. My eyes are pretty dark so the change was hardly noticeable, but I could tell that by the time the change was complete I should no longer be able to see. And there was nothing to do to stop it. The eye was clear now and had stopped getting inflamed, but the damage was done.
    So I wasn’t very good company inwardly, and after a time the constant entertaining and idle talk began to get on my nerves. I wanted to be alone. I wanted time to think and reason it all out and face up to it. Early in the new year I told them I was leaving for Théoule which is the other side of Cannes. There were the usual regal protests, the motions gone through of sweeping my protests aside. But this time they wouldn’t be swept.
    â€œIt’s no good, both of you,” I said.“I’ve booked my hotel. There’s no escape. I must go.”
    â€œ Impossible ” said Claire. “ The hotels at Théoule are beyond belief. You’d be dead with ennui in a week.”
    â€œThen I must die. I can’t sponge on you for the rest of my life.”
    They didn’t reply. “ I can’t see you very clearly,” I said, “ but I believe you’re both looking offended, as if I’d said something rather vulgar.”
    â€œSo you have, darling,” said Claire.
    â€œI can’t help, it, it’s true. And I can’t begin to thank you for the wonderful time you’ve given me for more than nine weeks. You’ve both been simply grand.”
    â€œOne gaffe after another,” said Claire.
    â€œWhat will you live on?” asked Walter. “You can’t get by on seventy-five pounds and what you can sell.”
    â€œI took a chance and brought a good bit over. Thanks to the way you behave I’ve only succeeded in getting rid of about a quarter of it, so I shall be in the clear for some months.”
    â€œThey ought to give you just as much as you want,” said Claire. “Anyway, you can’t possibly leave here. Please change the subject.”
    â€œI want to go,” I had to say. “Even if only for a few weeks. D’you know what it is? I want to see how I get on by myself. I’m afraid of getting too dependent.… It’s—psychological. That ought to appeal to you, Claire. You ought to understand.”
    She sighed. “ But Théoule. No amenities. Not even a casino.…”
    â€œI’ll be back,” I promised. “In time for Walter’s new car.”
    Claire got up. “You’re very difficult, Giles. I will go and see what Marie has for dinner.”
    So I went to Théoule. It’s a good centre for exploring the Estérels, and I stayed at a little hotel-restaurant and got some satisfaction out of it because they never guessed more than that “monsieur was a little short-sighted.” I bought a Victorian reading-glass and with it was able to write letters and transact ordinary business.
    But I didn’t stay long. Claire had been right in one respect.
    The change was too drastic. After all the company and the chatter, and the driving about to concerts and the social amenities of the villa, an entirely solitary life in my