silence the silence into music  the four drab women wait  the person invites other people to christenings funerals weddings and wakes silver and gold anniversaries the four drab women enter the home uninvited through the keyhole  first to appear is Guilt behind her looms Worry slowly there grows Want baring her teeth comes Hardship  the home becomes a cobweb
in it are heard voices groans gnashing of teeth buzzing  the awakened gods drive off importunate humans and yawn
  . . .   on the road of my life which has been straight though sometimes it disappeared round the bend of history  there were whirlings  on the road of life  where I walked flew limped losing along the way the truth which I sought in dark places  sometimes on that road I met the children of my friends my own children  I saw them learn to walk I heard them learn to speak
in their eyes were questions  mysterious children from the paintings of Wojtkiewicz hiding in corners listening to our conversations about poetry art music at times they squealed smiled were silent  mysterious children from the paintings of Makowski flat little clowns with stuck-on red noses with snotty noses smiling  we gradually lost our self-assurance (âwhat are you gawking at?â)  we were so busy then all at once we saw that our children have children that they have failures and successes that they are turning gray they ask us
 âwhat are you gawking at?â but we are silent and hide in corners  [2002]
gray zone âWhat makes gray a neutral color? Is it something physiological, or logical?â âGrayness is situated between two extremes (black and white).â WITTGENSTEIN    my gray zone is starting to include poetry  here white is not absolute white black is not absolute black the edges of these non-colors adjoin  Wittgensteinâs question is answered by KÄpiÅski  The world of depression is a monochromatic world dominated by grayness or total darkness  in the darkness of depression many things look differently than in normal light  black and white flowers grew only in Norwidâs poetry Mickiewicz and SÅowacki were colorists  the world we live in reels with color
but I donât live in that world I was only impolitely awakened can one wake someone politely  I see a ginger cat in green grass hunting a gray mouse  the artist Get tells me he cannot see colors  he distinguishes them by the labels on the tubes and tins  he reads and knows that this is yellow red blue  but his palette is gray  he sees a gray cat in gray grass hunting a gray mouse  he has impaired vision (he doesnât suffer from depression) maybe heâs pretending so as to provoke his students and enliven our discussion
we go on talking about Bemerkugen über die Farben W. talks of a red circle a red square a green circle  I say to G. it would seem that the square is merely filled with red or green the square is square not red or green according to Lichtenberg few people have ever seen pure white  drawing may be the purest form of art drawing is filled with pure emptiness  thus a drawing is by its nature closer to the absolute than a Renoir painting  the Germans say weiÃe rose and rote rose for one who doesnât know German a rose is neither rote nor weiÃe itâs just a rose
but someone else has never heard the word rose and what he holds in his hand is a flower or a pipe
Regression in die Ursuppe in the beginning was a thick soup which under the influence of light (and heat)  produced life  from the soup emerged a creature or rather something that transformed itself into yeast into a chimpanzee eventually god came along and created humans man and woman sun cat and tick  humans invented the wheel wrote