Necropolis Read Free Page B

that they had been turned into words, into filled pages destined for people almost as desperate as themselves, sadly normal people who populate this world of illusions, clocks, and threatening sunsets like the one that now appeared outside my window, over Via degli Scipioni, and reminded me that it was time to go down and have dinner.
    The Cola di Rienzo trattoria is a couple of blocks away, on the corner of Via Pompeo Magno and Via Lepanto. I usually order spaghetti
a la amatriciana
, with an artichoke salad and a bottle of white wine. With that on the table I continued thinking about what lay behind all those books, which were like a trunk containing the fears of so many solitary people who, like me that night, needed to understand something just so that they could tell others that they had no need of it and had never asked for it, or so that they could tell themselves and then find the strength to continue, their brains seething with images and premonitions. And so the days passed, filled with books, dinners at the trattoria, and fierce looks from the caretaker, who had suspected something ever since he had seen that envelope and the writing in Hebrew. The other day, for example, he stopped me at the front door and told me that in one of the booklets put out by his group there was an article on the physical characteristics of the Jews, which made them less potent sexually, or so the article said, but I took no notice of him, just told him that I was expecting a call from my doctor and walked away.
    The blank pages were gradually filling up, and, just before I was due to set out in my journey, I finished the first draft of a lecture that I entitled
Words Written in the Cave of Silence
, in which I tried to explain that the literary concept of words is that of an underground stream that runs very deep, dictated by the distant, obscure howling of creation, with extracts from different authors and a Kafkaesque tone reminiscent of
A Report to the Academy
. In the same folder I put three old texts on related themes, knowing that they always come in useful at round tables.
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2.
THE MINISTRY OF MERCY (I) (AS TOLD BY JOSÉ MATURANA)
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    I’m a Venezuelan and was born in Santo Domingo, in a brothel full of crazy alcoholics hiding under the tables, licking their wounds clean with their tongues. I’m a Panamanian and first saw the light of day on a pile of corpses in Quintana Roo, or was it San Juan? I don’t remember. I’m a Cuban and resulted from the coupling of a junkie whore and a blind, mangy stray dog in Tegucigalpa. I was born Latino in Miami and when I opened my eyes three hit men were sodomizing the nurse, who was very drunk and putting powder in her nose. I wasn’t born of woman, I was shat out by an animal with three heads who then cleaned himself with a dirty sheet and staggered away between the palms, his three brains befuddled by crack. I’m a Nicaraguan, a Costa Rican, a Dominican, and a Puerto Rican. I’m from Bogotá and Caracas. I’m a punk and a Rasta and a vagrant and a gangbanger and a paramilitary and a drug dealer. I’m black and mixed race and mestizo and Indian and purebred white. I’m sick and I don’t know who the hell I am. I don’t know if I’m already dead. Maybe I am. I’m a Caribbean. I’m a Latin American.
    This was what I told myself every time I opened my eyes and saw the bars of my cell in Moundsville Penitentiary, my dear friends and listeners, before the guard came and hit the bars with his baton and cried, José, wake up! get off the toilet, we’re going to change the water! and I’d rack my brains, but all I found was an empty screen, a concrete wall like the towers of the prison, my head was empty, and I’d tell myself, José, you must remember something, search deep down, search, or did you fall from a palm tree like a coconut? even the frogs matter in this world, as the Bible says, and I’d search and