My Weirdest School #2 Read Free Page B

tomorrow,” Ms. Cuddy told Andrea.
    Andrea looked all mad. I stuck out my tongue at her to make her madder. Ha! I would be in front of the camera while she would have to lug lights around. This was the greatest day of my life.

I spent that night practicing my jokes. The next morning, everybody was running around like crazy to get ready. I sat behind the desk. My face felt sweaty. Emily tried to powder my nose, but I told her to leave me alone.
    â€œOkay, let’s do this thing!” shouted Ms. Cuddy. “Are you ready, A.J.?”
    â€œYeah!”
    â€œI can’t hear you!”
    â€œYEAH!”
    â€œThree . . . two . . . one . . . ,” said Alexia.
    The red light lit up.
    â€œAction!” said Alexia.
    â€œMy name is A.J. and I hate the morning announcements,” I said. “Why do we have announcements anyway? We might as well sit at home and tell jokes instead. By the way, speaking of sitting at home, my dad used to work at a calendar factory, but he got fired. Do you know why?”
    â€œWhy?” everybody shouted.
    â€œHe took too many days off,” I said. “Hey, do you know what’s bad for your health?”
    â€œWhat?” everybody shouted.
    â€œToo many birthdays,” I said. “What did Earth say to Mars?”
    â€œWhat?” everybody shouted.
    â€œGet a life!” I said. “And speaking of dead things, do you want some of my old, dead batteries? They’re free of charge. But seriously, folks, what did the tie say to the hat?”
    â€œWhat?” everybody shouted.
    â€œYou go on a head. I’ll hang around,” I said. “Hey, speaking of hanging around, my mom said I was outstanding, because I stand outside a lot. And speaking of being outside, basketball sure is a messy sport, isn’t it? The players dribble all over the floor! And speaking of messy things, did you know that watermelons have really fancy weddings? Well, they cantaloupe.”
    I told a few more jokes, and then Alexia gave me the sign that time was almost up.
    â€œWell, that’s our morning announcements for today,” I said. “This is A.J., signing off. You stay classy, Ella Mentry students.”
    â€œAnd . . . cut !” shouted Alexia.
    The red light on top ofthe camera turned off.

    â€œGreat, A.J.!” said Ms. Cuddy. “I’d like to see Dirk School top that !”
    She went over to change the channel to the Dirk morning announcements. That girl Morgan Brocklebank was on the screen again. She was wearing sunglasses.
    â€œPlease stand for the pledge,” she said.
    At that moment, colored lights began to flash. A drum machine started to play. And then Morgan Brocklebank started rapping. . . .
    â€œI pledge allegiance to the flag,
    â€™cause if I don’t it’s such a drag.
    Flags are red and white and blue.
    Why they are I have no clue.”
    â€œShe’s rapping her own pledge!” shouted Ms. Cuddy.
    â€œOur beautiful and spacious skies,
    Mom and picnics, apple pies.
    Dig our amber waves of grain,
    Purple mountains, fruited plain.
    Broad stripes and bright stars,
    Super Bowls and fast cars.
    To the republic for which it stands,
    Now it’s time to all join hands.
    â€œStar-spangled banners wave,
    For the free and for the brave.
    We pledge allegiance to our flag,
    And when we’re done we’ll go play tag.
    â€œHave a great day at Dirk School!” shouted Morgan Brocklebank.
    Ms. Cuddy looked like she was going to explode.
    â€œThat Dirk kid did a rap version of the Pledge of Allegiance!” she shouted. “Why didn’t we think of that?”
    A few minutes later Mrs. Patty came in to give us the bad news—eighty people had tuned in to watch the Dirk School announcements. Only sixty had watched ours.
    â€œNooooooooo!” shouted Ms. Cuddy, falling to her knees. “They beat us again !”
    â€œI’ll do better next time,” I promised.“I’ll have