Ms. Leakey Is Freaky! Read Free Page B

at home?”
    â€œWell, sometimes my meals are round, Frank,” I told her. “Like when we have pizza, or pancakes.”
    Ms. Leakey just shook her head sadly.
    â€œWhy do you have a punching bag inhere?” I asked her.
    â€œEating junk food makes kids frustrated,” she told me. “It helps if they punch the bag. It’s good exercise, too.”
    â€œHitting stuff is fun,” I agreed.
    â€œWould you like to try it, A.J.?”
    â€œSure.”
    Ms. Leakey got a pair of boxing gloves from her closet and put them on me.
    â€œOkay, hit that bag, A.J.!” she said.
    I hit the bag. It felt good.
    â€œHit it again, A.J.” Ms. Leakey yelled. “Harder!”
    I punched the bag some more, as hard as I could.
    â€œPunch out fat, A.J.!” shouted Ms.Leakey. “Punch out sugar!”

    I started dancing around the bag like a boxer, punching it, kicking it, ramming it, slamming it. It was fun! That’s when the weirdest thing in the history of the world happened.
    A hole opened up in the punching bag. And you’ll never believe in a millionhundred years what fell out of the hole.
    I’m not gonna tell you.
    Okay, okay, I’ll tell you.
    It was candy! Candy and cookies and popcorn and all kinds of treats fell out! The punching bag was like a big piñata!
    This was the greatest day of my life! I got down on my knees and started scooping up the candy. But I couldn’t pick it up because of the boxing gloves.
    â€œSTOP!” Ms. Leakey shouted. “That candy isn’t for eating! It’s for punching!”
    â€œBut I want to eat it!” I begged. “I love candy!”
    Ms. Leakey took the boxing gloves off me and walked me back down the hallway.
    â€œA.J.,” she said when we got to Mr. Granite’s room, “you are going to be my special project this year. You’re a student leader. The other kids want to do what you do. If I can get you to eat healthy, I think everyone else will follow. Will you at least try to eat better?”
    â€œOkay,” I said. “I’ll try.”
    â€œGood,” she replied. “I’ll be keeping a very close eye on you to make sure you do. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go do my crunches.”
    â€œYou’re going to eat breakfast cereal, Frank?” I called after her.
    But she didn’t hear me. She had already run away.

6
Meet Mr. Slug
    The next day was Friday. After we pledged the allegiance, it was time for science class. Our science teacher is Mr. Docker. He has a car that runs on potatoes. Mr. Docker is off his rocker.
    When we got to the science room, Mr. Docker was talking to a guy I never saw before.
    â€œI’d like you to meet Mr. Harrison,” Mr. Docker told us. “He’s the new tech guy for our school.”
    â€œTech guy?” we all asked. “What’s a tech guy?”
    â€œI fix things that are broken,” said Mr. Harrison. “Computers, copy machines, telephones. I build things, too.”
    Mr. Harrison was tall and skinny. He had weird hair and one of those plastic pocket protectors on his shirt with a bunch of pens sticking out of it. His pants were too short. What a nerd!
    â€œMr. Harrison and I built something together,” said Mr. Docker.
    Mr. Harrison took a remote control out of his pocket and pushed a button. Andyou’ll never believe what happened next. A robot came walking out of the closet!
    â€œWe want to introduce you to Mr. Slug,” said Mr. Docker.
    Mr. Slug walked to the front of the class, bumping into a few desks along the way. He didn’t look like any robot I ever saw. He had a cigarette hanging out of his mouth, a can of beer in one hand, and a bag of potato chips in his other hand. His eyes were crossed. Mr. Slug was a mess.
    â€œYou shouldn’t have cigarettes and beer in school,” said Andrea. “It’s a bad influence on children.”
    â€œYes, we know,” said