Ms. Leakey Is Freaky! Read Free Page A

can behind her. She marched out the door of the vomitorium and started singing…
    â€œDrink your milk every day
    Eat carrots for your eyes
    Build strong bodies every way
    And get lots of exercise!”
    Everybody followed Ms. Leakey out the door. She dragged the garbage can acrossthe playground to the corner. There’s a big, green Dumpster there.
    â€œThis is where junk food belongs!” shouted Ms. Leakey. She picked the garbage can up over her head with superhuman strength and emptied it into the Dumpster.
    â€œThrow it away! Throw it away!” kids were chanting.
    It was horrible! What a waste of perfectly good junk food.
    This was worse than TV Turnoff Week. It was the worst day of my life.

5
Being Frank
    After lunch we went back to Mr. Granite’s class. He was talking about recycling paper when the school secretary, Mrs. Patty, made an announcement over the loudspeaker.
    â€œMr. Granite, please send A.J. to Ms. Leakey’s office.”
    â€œ Oooooooooooh , A.J.’s in trouble!” said Ryan.
    â€œI told you not to eat that Twinkie, dude,” said Michael.
    â€œMaybe Arlo will get kicked out of school!” said Andrea.
    She was rubbing her hands together. That’s what people do when they want something really badly. Why can’t a truck full of Twinkies fall on Andrea’s head?
    I didn’t want to go to Ms. Leakey’s office. You know where I wanted to go? Antarctica. I wanted to run away and live with the penguins. Penguins are cool. Nobody tells penguins they can’t eat Twinkies.

    I walked really slowly down the hall. * When I opened the door to Ms. Leakey’s office, she wasn’t in there. I looked around. It was a weird office. There was a treadmill, an organ, a bunch of plants, a giant metal box that looked like a coffin, a hot tub, and a punching bag hanging from the ceiling!
    Suddenly, the strangest thing in the history of the world happened. That giant box opened up, and a monster popped out!
    â€œAaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh!” I screamed.
    The monster pulled a mask off its face.
    It wasn’t a monster after all. It was Ms. Leakey!
    â€œHi, A.J.!” she said.
    â€œWhy were you lying in a metal box with a mask on your face?” I asked.

    â€œOh, this is my hyperbaric chamber,” she said. “I was breathing pure oxygen. It’s good for the lungs.”
    â€œA hyper-what?” I asked. “Where do you get one of those things?”
    â€œFrom Rent-A-Hyperbaric Chamber,” she said. “You can rent anything.”
    I looked at the row of plants under the window.
    â€œWhy do you have a farm in your office?” I asked.
    â€œI grow all my own food,” she told me. “It’s organic.”
    I guess that means she plays the organ while her food grows. That’s weird.
    â€œWhat’s with the hot tub?” I asked.
    â€œIt’s not a hot tub,” Ms. Leakey told me. “It’s an endless pool. I swim laps in it.”
    â€œReally short laps, huh?” I said.
    â€œThe endless pool has a current, like a river,” Ms. Leakey told me. “The water shoots past you so you swim in one place. You can swim forever.”
    That made no sense at all. Who wants to swim forever without going anywhere?
    Ms. Leakey got up out of her weird box.
    â€œWould you like some trail mix, A.J.?” she said, holding out a bag to me.
    I looked inside the bag. The stuff looked gross.
    â€œNo thanks,” I said. “I don’t want to eat trail.”
    â€œIt’s nuts and fruits and berries,” said Ms. Leakey. “All natural things. Trail mix is good for you.”
    â€œThat’s why I don’t want to eat it.”
    â€œA.J.,” Ms. Leakey said, “can I be frank with you?”
    â€œYou can call yourself whatever you want, Frank,” I told her.
    â€œI’m concerned about your diet,” she said. “Tell me, are you getting three square meals a day