Mrs. Patty Is Batty! Read Free Page A

don’t give us any candy?”asked one of the third graders.
    â€œOff with their heads!” said Mr. Klutz.
    â€œWhat if some kids don’t get any candy?” asked one of the first graders.
    â€œLet them eat cake!”
    Mr. Klutz enjoyed being king a little too much, if you ask me.
    I couldn’t wait to get out of school because, well, I can’t wait to get out of school every day. But this day was special because we would be going trick-or-treating and getting candy.
    Finally the bell rang and we got out of jail…I mean, school. Everybody poured out the front door.
    â€œFree at last!” Michael shouted.
    â€œIt’s candy time!” Ryan yelled. Mrs. Patty was standing on the front steps of the school in her witch costume. Her wart still didn’t fall off. She told us again that we should make sure to trick-or-treat at her house because she has more candy than anyone in town.
    â€œAnd remember,” she said, “don’t let the Halloween Monster catch you.”
    The what ?

    â€œI’ve never heard of the Halloween Monster,” I said.
    â€œOh sure,” said Mrs. Patty. “Every year the Halloween Monster chops up kids, steals their candy, and keeps it for himself.”
    Yikes! The Halloween Monster? I looked at Michael. Michael looked at Ryan. Ryan looked at me. Then we all tore out of there as fast as we could.

6
Giant Bananas and Two-headed Astronauts
    This was the first Halloween that me and Michael and Ryan were allowed to go trick-or-treating without our parents. We went home to drop off our backpacks and get pillowcases to hold all the candy. Then we met up again at Michael’s house.
    â€œLet’s go!” Ryan said. “If I don’t eat aTwizzler in about five minutes, I’m gonna die.”
    â€œNot so fast,” Michael said, opening up a big map he had drawn. “I worked it all out so we’ll have the maximum candy accumulation.”
    Wow! Big words. Michael should be in the gifted and talented program.
    Me and Ryan looked at Michael’s map. Michael doesn’t like to just walk up and down the street collecting candy like a normal kid. He always plans a careful route so he can go to all the houses that have good candy and not waste any time at the houses where people turn off their lights and pretend they’re not home.
    Michael is weird.
    â€œWe’ll save Mrs. Patty’s house for last,” Michael said. “She says she has more candy than anybody in town. Let’s go!”
    I was thinking about what Mrs. Patty said earlier at school.
    â€œDo you think there really is a Halloween Monster?” I asked the guys as we headed up the street.
    â€œOf course not,” Michael said. “Mrs.Patty was just yanking our chain.”

    â€œWe’d better be careful just in case,” Ryan said.
    We set off on our candy quest. There were lots of kids in weird costumes walking up and down the street. Giraffes! Darth Vaders! Two-headed astronauts! Princesses! Cowboys! Ghosts! Four kids dressed up as a bunch of giant bananas! What a freak show!
    We saw teenagers dressed up like bums. Teenagers always dress up like bums on Halloween. That must be an easy costume to make, because teenagers dress like bums even when it isn’t Halloween.
    â€œTrick or treat!” we shouted when wegot to the first house on Michael’s map. A lady opened the door.
    â€œOoh, you boys are scary!” she said, even though she totally didn’t look scared at all. “What are you supposed to be?”
    â€œWe’re a zombie football player, a zombie hockey player, and a killer zombie penguin,” Michael said.
    â€œFrom outer space,” I added.
    â€œYou can each have a piece of candy,” the lady said, holding a bucket out for us.
    â€œCan we take two?” I asked, grabbing a Milky Way.
    â€œWell, okay…”
    â€œCan we take four?” I asked, grabbing a