More Than A Maybe Read Free Page B

I’ve got to go. But listen . . . I’m not saying you’re out of options or nothing. There are always options. I’m just saying you should think it over. Yes or no, you can call me anytime. You gotta know that by now.”
    I nodded and forced a half-smile. “I know.”
    She leaned over and gave me one of her big squeezy Jayla hugs . . . and then she was walking away, with the strong and steady step of a girl who knew exactly where she was going.
    After feeling that new closeness to Jayla, after learning that secret part of her life, I now felt incredibly alone. I looked at the card on the table and sighed. A moment later, I’d finished my coffee, and I was on my way as well.
    Jayla’s business card, however . . . well, that went with me.

Chapter 2
    I didn’t do anything about it, though. Not right away.
    Okay, to be honest, that night after the conversation with Jayla, I’d actually entertained the wild suggestion for a moment. I’d gone into my room, put on a deep-red dab of lipstick, and tried to do a few steps of Marlene Dietrich’s sexy gorilla-suit striptease from Hot Voodoo. Still, it wasn’t working. I didn’t have Marlene’s style, or her grace, or her fantastic set of curves. I just had flat-and-bashful Alice, a million times more colorless than any of those Goddesses on my black-and-white Watchman.
    And so for a few weeks I’d tried denial — that, and a return to the same-old-same-old. Or, at least, some semblance of it.
    Although I was dropping out of the pre-med program, I told everyone that I was just taking a break. I promised my professors that I’d keep my nose in the books, and I did . . . for a while, as best I could. Still, more and more the coffee refills and scrambled egg platters of my waitressing world did their best to fill up my days. I would wake up, dress, spend a grueling eight or ten hours waiting tables, gather up my tips, and then go home and study my old textbooks until my eyes were too tired to keep open. Lather, rinse, repeat.
    For a short while I was able to keep my head above water . . . at least, that’s what I told myself, holding on to the self-assurance that everything would work out. Pretending is what got me through my days: through the daily hassles of tip-stiffing customers, orders of burnt toast, the shouting of my short-tempered manager . . . that’s what sustained me. That, and those stolen hours of classic film, that would whisk me away to a long-gone world of captivating monochrome.
    But the nights became darker, and my pretending began to break down. There, all alone in the tiny apartment home my mother had worked so hard for . . . that’s when the tears came.
    I realized that I had a choice: I could take the card that Jayla had given me, call her number, and let myself be introduced to a world that, while scary and even dangerous, at least offered a clear way out. A clear way up. Or I could continue to work hard, follow the rules, and hope that other people would see fit to give me enough money to live on. That’s what I’d always done . . . except now, that train had completely slipped off the tracks.
    And so I made my choice: I took the number and dialed. That action — that simple action — filled me with a tiny new bit of real, genuine hope . . . the first I’d felt in a long time.
    Jayla answered the phone — her voice was groggy, but perked up immediately.
    “Alice! What’s up?”
    I took a deep breath. “I’m in.”
    There was a pause on the other end of the line. When she spoke, Jayla sounded serious.
    “You know . . . I knew you’d call, somehow. I knew it.”
    I tried to force a laugh. “You thought I had no other choice, huh?”
    “No way, girl! I just felt like you were ready to start making a couple of choices on your own.”
    I took a deep breath through my teeth. “When do we begin? How does . . . how does this work?”
    “Don’t worry,” said Jayla. “It’s pretty straightforward. I’ll introduce you to Billy — he