Moon Shell Beach: A Novel Read Free Page B

smile.
    Jesse ran the tips of his fingers lightly over her teeth. “Very nice.” He ran his fingertips over her lips. “Also very nice.” Leaning forward, he kissed her gently.
    She was afraid she’d do something wrong. She didn’t know how to kiss. She knew Jesse was experienced and she didn’t want to seem pathetic and naive.
    It was amazing, how natural the kiss was, how warm and right. She drew back, looking into Jesse’s blue eyes.
    “Jesse. I don’t want to be just another…
girl
for you.”
    His smile was like an angel’s. “Hey, Clare. I know that. You’re special. Trust me.”
    She trusted him.
             

    Monday, Clare sauntered
into the cafeteria for lunch. She wasn’t the least bit hungry. She was so full of happiness she had no appetite for anything else. She drifted toward the table where she usually sat with Lexi and a bunch of other girls who weren’t cheerleaders but weren’t The Hopeless and the Damned, either. She smiled, thinking of how she would casually mention that she was going out with Jesse Gray.
    Someone grabbed her elbow, hard. Clare turned. “Hi, Lexi.”
    Lexi seemed ready to explode. “Are you dating Jesse Gray?”
    Clare winced. “Lex, we just had one date. I didn’t know it was going to get so serious so fast.”
    “So
serious
?” Lexi looked stricken. “I can’t believe you didn’t tell me.”
    “Lex.” Clare took Lexi’s arm and led her toward the cafeteria line. “Chill. Everyone’s looking at us. Look, I’ll call you, I’ll tell you all about it.”
    Lexi nodded. “Come over after school.”
    Clare winced. “Um…I’m doing something with Jesse after school.”
             

    Two days later,
they met at Moon Shell Beach. It was one of those golden autumn days that made Nantucket seem like paradise, as if summer would always be suspended like this, ripe with beach plums, warm air on your skin, the blue waters sparkling back at the sun.
    Lexi was agitated. “Clare, are you nuts?” She paced over the sand. She didn’t know why she was so upset, so frightened.
    “Lexi, you don’t know him,” Clare protested. Lexi’s reaction was not at all what she’d expected. “Jesse’s really nice.”
    “Jesse Gray is really
sexy,
that’s what you mean.” In spite of the warmth of the day, Lexi hugged her sweater to her chest as she talked. “Clare, Jesse is a hound dog, you know that.”
    Clare pleaded, “Lexi, don’t be this way. Come on. This is important to me. I really really like Jesse.”
    “But that’s what’s so awful, Clare.
You like
him, but
he
just wants to get in your pants.”
    “You don’t know that.” Clare jutted out her chin defensively. “Besides, what if he does? It’s time I lost my virginity.”
    “But you don’t want to be just another notch on this guy’s belt,” Lexi insisted.
    Clare smiled radiantly. “Look at it from my point of view. Maybe I want him to be my first lover.”
    “Lover,”
Lexi spit the word out scornfully. “Clare, you’re going to get hurt.”
    “If I do, it will be worth it.”
    Lexi gaped. “I don’t even know you.”
    “Oh, stop it, Lex!”
    Lexi looked stricken. “Promise this much,” she said solemnly. “Promise me you won’t bring him to Moon Shell Beach.”
    “Oh, Lexi…” And all at once her friend seemed childish. Clare felt ages more experienced and wise.
    Lexi chewed her thumbnail, thinking. “Maybe you can bring him
someday.
When you know you’re going to marry him.”
    Clare laughed. “Who cares about silly old Moon Shell Beach!” She was shocked at the hurt in Lexi’s eyes. “Oh, Lexi, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean—Look, I promise I won’t bring him to Moon Shell Beach.”
             

    Clare’s senior year
of high school was all about Clare and Jesse. She went to class, she did her homework, she applied to colleges and got accepted, but none of that was real to her. Only Jesse was real.
    Jesse worked after school and on weekends, so they