into it. But once Long Range shot the Water Warrior, we raced back to the shore. Then Rebel Command raised a Red Flag, calling its teams to a beachhead battle this afternoon. Itâs a good time for me to build up my Honor.
Wei is taking his mother to the doctor, so he drives me home. He loves cruising in his fatherâs new BMW but grumbles about being away from the gang. This afternoon theyâre going to the mall. I complain about the English exam, which was a disaster for me. Wei doesnât reply, so he must have done okay.
I want my driverâs license, too, but Ba wonât pay for the course until my grades improve. I hate how everything in my life is tied to school.
While my ancient computer grunts slowly through boot-up, I visit Baâs muscle machine. Thereâs just enough time for two sets of bench presses, chest flies and pullovers. In my head I hear the gym teacher shouting, âGo slow for bulk!â but my counting speeds up as soon as I think of the upcoming battle. At the mirror, I flex my chest. My body looks more and more like Steelâs.
Logging onto Rebel State , I sense someone watching me. My head jerks up. The house should be empty.
Ba is at the door holding a sheaf of papers and staring at me. His gaze is still and intense. The desktop screen is reflected in his eyes. I wait for his lecture to start. No doubt itâll be the same one about wasting time on this game.
âYouâre home early,â I say, breaking the deadly silence. If I had known he was home, I would have gone to the Milky Way Café to play in peace on my laptop. At this time of the day, Ba usually goes to Uncle Beiâs computer store in the Great Lakes Mall. He says he needs a break from the restaurant.
He drops sheets of computer printout onto my keyboard. Each page contains lines that are highlighted with a marker.
A chill cuts through me. The list shows all the websites I visited in the past two weeks. Rebel State appears the most. But the sites that stand out in bright green are all the gay Chinese ones â some in North America, some in Taiwan and Hong Kong.
âWhy are you snooping through my computer?â I demand. âPrivacy is protected in this country, donât you know?â
âThose sites, did you visit them?â he barks.
Why does he bother to ask? His snoop program gives him plenty of proof. Iâm not stupid enough to accuse a computer of making mistakes.
âI was doing research for a school project.â
âShow me the document. Which class was it for?â
âMaybe I didnât save a copy on this machine.â I try to sound annoyed. âI canât remember.â
âIs it on your laptop?â Ba demands.
I scroll through my desktop as my brain begs some faraway god for a miracle.
Take Ba away, I pray, and Iâll quit the game forever. I wonât waste another penny on this evil habit!
My throat tightens and my stomach clenches.
I want to scream out, I havenât done anything! I want a girlfriend. I want to get drunk with my buddies, sing karaoke all night long. All I want is a normal life, passing one day at a time. I donât want my friends backing away from me in the shower room or in a row of seats at the theater.
Hereâs the file full of gay stuff from the net. Delete, delete, delete.
All the websites say that itâs best if you choose the time and place to talk to people about gay topics, especially your parents. Every family is different, so only you will know the ideal time. Plan carefully .
Too bad thereâs no such time for a father who has actually killed people in the line of duty. In the army, Ba was in charge of training new recruits. His specialty was hand-to-hand combat. Only drunken fools who had lost all their worldly sense dared to challenge him.
He and I are the same height now. Iâm still strong from gymnastics, even though I quit during middle school. But Ba is the one who