Missing Me Read Free Page A

out?’
    ‘No.’ My cheeks burned even hotter.
    Marcus stifled another yawn. ‘If she’s OK, can we go?’ he said.
    Rory looked at me. ‘Sure you’re all right?’
    ‘Course.’ I flicked back my hair in what I hoped was a vaguely sophisticated and confident gesture. Marcus gave no sign that he’d noticed. Then a thought struck me. ‘Hey,
Rory, d’you know anything . . . about my dad? Stuff that my mum might have told yours, maybe that she didn’t want me to know about?’
    Rory made a face. ‘No. Why?’
    I shrugged. ‘Never mind.’ I started to close the door. Marcus caught my eye and winked. What was he doing? He’d looked so totally bored just a second ago. I smiled uncertainly
back.
    ‘Hey, Madison.’ Rory’s voice almost made me jump.
    ‘What?’
    ‘My mum keeps a bunch of diaries about old stuff,’ he said. ‘Maybe yours does too.’
    The two boys set off along the pavement. In spite of all the turmoil in my head, I couldn’t help wishing I’d been a bit cooler around Marcus. He walked with a rolling swagger that
managed to convey absolute confidence with a hint of ‘don’t mess with me’ danger.
    I shut the door and thought about what Rory had said. Diaries. I couldn’t imagine Annie keeping a diary. She had enough trouble keeping track of everyday life to do anything requiring that
kind of focus. She didn’t even own a computer. Still, it was worth a look.
    I raced up to her bedroom, guessing that’s where she’d keep something as personal as a diary. Our cleaner had been earlier, so the surfaces were all clear and tidy, but I knew the
chaos that would face me as soon as I opened any of the cupboard doors. I tried the bedside table drawer. Sure enough, it was overflowing with tissues and hand creams and manicure kits. No paper at
all. Then I opened the wardrobe door. That was crammed with dresses and tops and trousers, most of them half off their hangers. Shoes littered the floor space, plus a pair of my old dolls, three
plastic bags, a pottery cup Shelby and I made for her at camp one summer, a box of old lipsticks, and a wooden drumstick – goodness knows where that had come from.
    I sat back on my heels, feeling overwhelmed. Didn’t Annie ever throw anything away? I rummaged right to the back. There were several cardboard boxes here, plus a couple of small suitcases.
I pulled them out and opened them one by one. Piles of clothes met my eye. One box was full of old jumpers and skirts. Another was crammed with little girl dresses. I didn’t remember wearing
any of them. I guess they must have been Shelby’s or Lauren’s. I was trying to be systematic, but once all the clothes were on the carpet, it was hard to keep track.
    ‘Madison, sweetie?’ Annie’s voice quavered from the doorway.
    I spun round. I’d been so caught up in my search for a diary I hadn’t even heard her come in.
    ‘What are you doing?’ she said, looking round at all the clothes on the carpet, her voice breaking into a sob.
    I stood up. ‘I want to know everything,’ I said. ‘I want to know why you used a sperm donor. I want to know who he is. And I want to know why everyone else except me knew about
him for seven years.’ I folded my arms and glared at her.
    A tear trickled down her cheek. Her hands were shaking as she twisted them over each other. How I hated that gesture of hers. Sometimes, though it felt horrible to admit it, I hated Annie
herself. She was always so weak and miserable. For as long as I could remember, I’d felt it was my job to look after her. But why should I have to do that? It wasn’t fair.
    ‘Madison, I realise what you heard was a shock,’ Annie said. ‘But I’ve kept certain things from you to protect you. Because I didn’t want you to be hurt . .
.’
    My guts tightened into an angry knot.
    ‘I get you’ve been trying to protect me,’ I said, clenching my fists. ‘But you need to get this: I’m not a little girl anymore, and what I overheard was