Miss Brown Is Upside Down! Read Free Page B

family loves Jiggly gelatin,” said the lady. “It’s a complete meal in a bowl.”
    â€œJiggly has all the essential vitamins and nutrients you need for a healthy lifestyle,” said the man. “It contains no sugar, no fat, and no cholesterol. It helps you lose weight, sleep better, see better, look younger, and grow hair; and Jiggly even cures all major diseases.”
    â€œNot only that, but Jiggly comes in all the colors of the rainbow, and it tastesgreat!” said the lady. “But the best part is, it’s fun to eat because it jiggles! Right, kids?”
    The camera pulled back to show three kids sitting on the floor.
    â€œRight!” the kids shouted. “It’s so jiggly, it makes you giggly!”
    Then they all started laughing way too hard.
    â€œWho wants some Jiggly right now?” asked the parents.
    â€œI do!” shouted the kids.
    Then the whole family dug into a big bowl of Jiggly as if none of them had eaten in weeks.
    The lights came back on.
    Man, that commercial was lame.

“Round one of the Brain Games is about general knowledge,” announced Dr. Carbles. “Representing Ella Mentry School will be two members of their gifted and talented program, A.J. and Andrea.”
    My parents and Andrea’s parents clapped their hands.
    â€œAnd representing Dirk School will beMorgan Brocklebank and Tommy Smith.”
    The whole audience erupted in applause like they had just won the Super Bowl. That kid Tommy looked like a real doofus.
    Miss Brown attached little microphones to my shirt and Andrea’s shirt and gave each of us a buzzer to hold. She told us to push the button if we were able to answer a question.
    â€œYou can do this,” Miss Brown whispered to us. “Be quick, and be smart.” Then she got off the stage.
    â€œIs everybody ready?” asked Dr. Carbles.
    â€œReady!” we all replied.
    â€œOkay. Question number one,” said Dr. Carbles. “Who was the first president ofthe United States?”
    Any dumbhead knows that.
    Bzzzzzz!
    I pushed the button on my buzzer, but Morgan Brocklebank buzzed in first.
    â€œGeorge Washington!” she shouted.
    â€œRight!” said Dr. Carbles. “That’s ten points for Dirk School.”
    â€œI knew that,” Andrea whispered to me.
    â€œWell, hit your buzzer!” I whispered back at her.
    â€œQuestion two,” said Dr. Carbles. “In what year—”
    Bzzzzzz!
    â€œ1776!” shouted Morgan Brocklebank.
    â€œThat’s right!” said Dr. Carbles. “Tenmore points for Dirk.”
    â€œWhat?! That’s not fair!” I complained. “We didn’t even get the chance to hear the question!”
    â€œYou snooze, you lose,” said Morgan Brocklebank.
    That kid Tommy next to her was just standing there with his finger up his nose. He was no help at all.
    â€œDirk School now has twenty points, and Ella Mentry School has zero,” said Dr. Carbles. “Next question. Who invented—”
    Bzzzzzz!
    Ha-ha! I buzzed in before Morgan Brocklebank did.
    â€œThomas Edison!” I shouted.
    â€œOh, sorry, no,” said Dr. Carbles. “Thomas Edison is not correct. The question is, Who invented the Franklin stove?”
    Bzzzzzz!
    â€œFranklin!” shouted Morgan Brocklebank.
    â€œThat’s right! Ten more points for Dirk School. It is now thirty to zero,” said Dr. Carbles. “Next question. Name a greenhouse gas that is flammable and comes from cow farts.”

    What?! What kind of a question was that?
    Bzzzzzz!
    â€œMethane!” shouted Morgan Brocklebank. “It’s very bad for the environment.”
    â€œThat’s right!” said Dr. Carbles.
    Methane? I never even heard of methane. How did she know that?
    â€œThe score is now forty to zero,” said Dr. Carbles.
    This was humiliating! Morgan Brocklebank kept answering all the questions right. Those Dirk dorks were crushing