Midnight Snack and Other Fairy Tales Read Free Page A

go.”
    “The youngest prince knew everything that a prince should know… and as for his courage, there was simply no end to it.”
    “Courage,” the princess said, and smiled. “So it’s an actioner? Well, if we’re not going to have the other kind of action…”
    The producer reached out for his coffee and drank a good deal of it. It was a good thing it was cold. What are their agents telling these people? I thought.
    “All right,” said the producer. “So the youngest Prince went off and started buying dogs. Big ones, little ones, greyhounds, spaniels, lap dogs, you name it. No sooner would he buy one than he’d find a prettier one somewhere else; after a few days he’d have so many dogs that he’d have to get rid of some of them, and always he’d keep on traveling further from home, convinced that there was a prettier dog out there somewhere. Finally he hardly knew where he was any more, and he and the ten or so dogs he had with him at that point took a short cut through a forest. Or he thought it was a short cut. He got lost, and it got dark, and then it started to rain; and he and the dogs wandered around in the stormy, gloomy woods until finally he thought he saw a light some ways off. With difficulty the youngest Prince made his way toward it. And what should he find but an immense castle, all by itself in the woods. It had a golden door all studded with rubies: the glow of these (for apparently they were magic rubies) was what had led him to the place. And as he lifted his hand to knock at the door, it opened—and he saw an immense white marble hall paved with lapis lazuli, and hanging in the air, hundreds of hands…”
    The Beautiful Princess’s eyebrows went up. “Kinky,” she said softly.
    “No bodies?” said the first Prince.
    “Just hands?” said the second Prince.
    “CGI,” said the director.
    The calculating look in the First and Second Princes’ eyes suggested that they were both wondering whether their agents had got them enough for this part, if the effects budget could take that much strain.
    “The hands escorted the prince inside,” the producer said, ignoring them. “Voices which seemed associated with them said, ‘Don’t be afraid; nothing here will harm you.’ And the hands ushered him through room after room, each more splendid than the last, until the Prince found himself in a sitting room where a fire sprang into life in the fireplace as they entered. The hands removed the Prince’s wet, muddy clothes—”
    “Woo woo,” said the youngest Prince. The Beautiful Princess shot him a look out of the corner of her eyes, and said nothing, but smiled slightly.
    “PG-17 for sure,” said the S&P guy under his breath, making another note.
    “And dressed him in new ones embroidered richly in gold and precious stones. When he was ready, the hands led the Prince to a splendid dining room, on the walls of which were painted the history of Puss in Boots and many other famous cats. The Prince was led by the hands to the main table, to one of two places which were laid with golden plates and utensils. He looked at the second place, wondering who it was for, and waited. A nearby door swung open to the sound of invisible trumpets: and in came a tiny figure in a long black veil, escorted by two cats wearing black cloaks and carrying swords. Behind them came a large party of cats carrying musical instruments and various covered dishes.”
    “More CGI?” said the King.
    “No,” said the producer, “just magic. For some of this stuff, it looks better.—So there stood the prince, astonished: and the little figure walked up to him and threw back its veil to reveal the most beautiful little white cat he’d ever seen. ‘Good evening, Prince,” said the White Cat. ‘You’re very welcome. Will you join us for dinner?’”
    “‘Absolutely,’ he said, and sat down—”
    “Excuse me,” said the Beautiful Princess. “This is my character? A cat?”
    “Yes,” said the