May B. Read Free Page A

boards
          to his liking
          someday.
          I stop myself.
          He’s never coming back.

57

          I am afraid
          in the dark
          all alone
          I am afraid

58

          It started small:
          Hiram’s church-going shirt left untucked,
          My dirty hands at suppertime.
          Then we got bold:
          Sneaked a piece of cooling pie,
          waded deeper in the stream
          than Pa allowed.
          Somehow Hiram rarely caught trouble.
          That smile of his softened Ma.
          Pa, grateful for extra hands,
          overlooked the times Hiram forgot to milk,
          misplaced the saw,
          dropped his boot in the creek.
          I thought of something he wouldn’t dare do.
          “Get Ma’s scissors
          and meet me out back.”
          It was just the two of us behind the soddy,
          but I leaned in close.
          “Cut some of my hair.”
          He narrowed his eyes.
          “Why’d I want to do that?”
          “Afraid Ma will notice?” I sang.
          “Worried Pa will tell you
          to wait for him in the barn?”
          “You’re daring me?” he asked.
          “I am,” I said.
          That was enough to stir him.
          And when he grabbed at a braid
          and the scissors snapped,
          I scooped it up,
          a four-inch rope of brown hair.
          Swishing it under his nose, I told him,
          “You’re going to get it tonight.”
          That smile of his lit up his face.
          “Don’t I know it.”
          I swatted at him with the braid,
          yelled, “I’m showing Ma!”
          and ran.

59

          It is not strange
          to wear the same dress
          from day to day,
          but to awake,
          still clothed,
          and not notice
          until the coffee’s made—

60

          I hope Mrs. Oblinger fell off that horse
          and is still wandering the prairie.
          Mr. Oblinger
          better be dead.
          Pa deserves the mess he’s made,
          sending me here.
          His only daughter
          abandoned
          by strangers,
          forgotten
          by family,
          left behind
          by classmates,
          ignored
          by Teacher.
          Nobody cares
          about me.
          I hate this place.

61

          Today,
          if it takes forever,
          I will see the place
          where the earth touches sky.
          I will find it.
          I will track it down.
          I will not sit here and wait
          for nobody to come,
          for nothing to happen.
          Have Hiram and I been wasting time
          on a foolish game?
          Today,
          I will learn the truth.
          
          Over my shoulder I check for the soddy
          one time,
          two times,
          three.
          Why did I think I’d be brave enough
          to set out on my own?
          How did Hiram and I
          get this idea anyway?
          The earth is round,
          Miss Sanders told us.
          She brought that globe to school,
          let us pass it around.
          If stories were true,
          I’d follow a bread-crumb path
          all the way home.
          But I have no heart for fairy tales
          anymore.

62

          I return to the soddy,
          gather pebbles at the creek,
          and line them up,
          a family of smooth stones.
          One by one
          I heave them into the water,
          harder,
          then harder still,
          until I’m