MacCallister Kingdom Come Read Free Page A

the truth. I cannot cook.”
    â€œThen why in the Sam Hill did you hire him as a cook, if he can’t cook?”
    â€œIt’s a long story,” Duff said. “I’m going to count on you to teach him.”
    Elmer smiled. “All right, I’ll do it. As long as I don’t have to teach him none o’ that nasty stuff like neeps ’n haggis.”
    â€œElmer, how is it that a man of your experience and world travel has never been able to cultivate an appreciation of such a delicacy?”
    â€œâ€™Cause it ain’t a delicacy is why. Neeps ’n haggis ain’t worth feedin’ to the hogs. Oh, by the way, Miss Megan said to tell you that her sister ’n brother-in-law is comin’ to Chugwater soon. And they’re bringin’ her nephew with ’em.”
    â€œThat’s good to know,” Duff said. “It will be nice meeting some of Megan’s family.”
    Elmer chuckled. “It ain’t just a meetin’, you know.”
    â€œWhat do you mean?”
    â€œIt’s more ’n likely she’s brought ’em up here to check you out, to see iffen maybe you’re a fit person for her to marry.”
    â€œThere you go again, Elmer, tryin’ to be a matchmaker. When the time comes, I’ll make my own match, thank you.”
    Elmer laughed again. “If you say so. Come, Wang, let me introduce you to some of these critters you’ll be cookin’ for, oncet I learn you to cook.”
    Elmer led Wang into the barn where three cowboys were standing on a board stretched between two barrels. “Boys, I want you to meet our new cook. This here is Wang Chow.” Elmer pointed to the cowboys one at a time as he introduced them to Wang.
    â€œThis here feller with his nose mashed up against his face ’cause he got into a fight with someone he ought not to have, is Tom Woodward, only don’t never call him nothin’ but Woodward.”
    â€œIt warn’t no fight. I got kicked in the face by a mule. You know that, Elmer.”
    Elmer ignored him. “And the feller that ain’t hardly got no teeth to speak of is Martin. I don’t know as I’ve even heard his first name spoke. And this long, tall, drink of water is Adam Dewey. He’s the youngest, but he ain’t the dumbest.”
    â€œAnd just what qualifies you to pick the dumbest?” Dewey asked.
    â€œThat’s easy, ’cause there ain’t nearly no one dumber ’n me,” Elmer said good-naturedly, and the others laughed. “You fellers want to tell me why in Sam Hill you got a board lyin’ twixt these two barrels?” He pointed at the board in question.
    â€œWe’re plannin’ on usin’ it as a wedge under the corner of the waterin’ trough,” Woodward said. “But it’s too long, ’n none of us wants to walk all the way back to the machine ’n toolshed just to get a saw. We was plannin’ on breakin’ it with a shovel, but so far there ain’t none of us been able to do it.”
    â€œI’ve only had one or two tries,” Dewey said. “Here, let me try again.” He swung the shovel hard at the board, but it just bounced back up. After four or five tries he handed it to Martin, who tried, unsuccessfully, to break it.
    â€œLet’s see what our new cook can do,” Martin said, handing the shovel to Wang. “Here, see if you can break this board.”
    Wang took the shovel from Martin, held it for just a moment, then handed it to Elmer.
    â€œNo, don’t give it to me. I know damn well I can’t break the board.”
    â€œYou want the board broken here?” Wang pointed to the shovel marks on the board.
    â€œYes.” Elmer tried to hand the shovel back to Wang, but he waved it off.
    â€œI do not need shovel.”
    Wang put the knife edge of his hand on the board and held it there for a moment.
    â€œHa! What are you going to do? Break