Love Me Read Free Page A

wrong with the way I dress?’ I asked, trying to sound like I didn’t care about the answer. Eating more chicken.
    â€˜Come on. Look at you . . .’ he said, brushing his neat fingers over the jagged holes in my jeans. ‘Are you kidding? Why are you so afraid to be pretty? If you ever wore a wedding dress you’d probably have to go jump in a puddle. You couldn’t help yourself.’
    â€˜At least I’m not some clichéd brand-worshipping B.E.T. lookin’ caricature of myself like you! What’s the big deal, anyway? Are you saying you’ve never seen ripped jeans before?’
    â€˜Those are not ripped jeans, mama.’ He laughed. ‘They just given up on life. If denim abuse was a crime you’d be locked up right now.’
    â€˜Well you know what? Maybe I don’t wanna look like the rest of these hoes!’ I told him, and he laughed harder, right into my eyes. ‘You can tell me what to wear when you’re the one buying it, OK? You can’t tell me shit unless you’re the one who has to—’
    â€˜Fine. I will.’
    â€˜What?’
    â€˜Let’s go.’ He wiped his face and hands decisively with a napkin. ‘I’ll buy you one outfit. If you don’t love it, keep the receipt, return it and take the money.’
    â€˜Are you serious?’ I smirked. ‘You’re buying me clothes now?’
    â€˜No. I’m buying you one outfit.’
    I watched him carefully for motives. Went into fight/flight mode thinking about it.
    â€˜Why?’
    â€˜It’ll be fun.’
    â€˜Why, Zed?’
    â€˜Because you look like hell.’
    â€˜Fuck off!’
    â€˜But you got potential.’
    â€˜For what?’
    â€˜Look. Is it a deal or not?’
    Slowly I nodded. I wanted to know what would make him like me.
    Zed smiled and waggled his eyebrows.
    An unfamiliar voice called my name from outside the little half-door. ‘Your friend has asked me to ask you if you’re gonna be ready soon. He wants to see!’
    I stared in the mirror at my big legs and voluminous bosoms, my sudden waist. I couldn’t go outside like that. I could barely even stay in the changing room like that. I felt more naked in the tight blue dress he’d given me to try on than I had in my bra and pants. A paradox emerged in my head. Naked, that’s how they want you, but flawless. How can they expect both?
    I wondered again why he’d done this and felt a sudden jolt of anger.
    â€˜Eden?’
    Jesus. Didn’t she have shelves to stock or something?
    â€˜I’ll be two seconds.’ I breathed deep and tugged at the flimsy hem of the dress. When I got outside his demeanour went from cocky to spontaneous-combustion-level shocked. I don’t think he even really knew what nasty tricks a measure of lycra could pull off on my body.
    â€˜What?’ I said aggressively, like an unprovoked act of violence in the school playground.
    His look swept from the picky ends of my hair to the tips of my bare, unpedicured toes. ‘Wow . . . Eden! You like it?’
    â€˜I suppose.’ My face was hot. My hands itched to cover every inch of exposed or over-emphasised flesh. I took an extremely tentative twirl. ‘What do you think?’
    â€˜Is that a trick question?’ he said, cockiness returning. ‘
Damn
, girl!’
    â€˜Thanks, I . . . erm. Thanks.’
    â€˜You gonna . . .?’
    â€˜Yeah, I’ll take it, definitely.’
    I returned swiftly to the changing room to get back into my big, mostly shapeless clothes, but the deal was done and a few moments later my new dress was stuffed in a bag and paid for. The Middle Eastern man who took the money winked at us and made heavily accented jokes about Zed buying an outfit for his woman. Zed didn’t even correct him.
    I was inspired, walking back up toward Oxford Circus. Wearing something so different made me wonder who else I could be.