Love Everlasting Read Free Page A

heart,” came the swift
answer.
    Julianna grappled with the notion of a
husband loving his wife. She found the idea quite beyond her
comprehension. Even less believable was the thought of a wife who
loved her husband. All the pawing and squeezing, the poking into
intimate places, the heavy breathing, and the discomfort of those
few moments in the dark did not represent love to her. She didn’t
know what love was, but she was certain it was not what husbands
did to their wives in bed.
    “Are you saying you don’t mind - don’t mind
any of it?” Julianna whispered. She could feel her face burning
red. Janet must have noticed, but she ignored the signs of her
friend’s embarrassment.
    “I enjoy it,” Janet said. “It’s wonderful.
Even the first time was fairly pleasant, and after that, it just
became better and better.”
    “Oh?” Julianna tried her best to sound
arrogant, because she didn’t want to remember her first night in
bed with a man. Not for the first time, she began to wonder if
something was wrong with her, if pleasure in the marital bed
depended on the woman’s temperament, and if her own temperament was
sorely lacking in whatever qualities were necessary for enjoyment
of that uncomfortable and embarrassing act. She had been told often
enough that she provided no pleasure at all. Certainly, she had
received none.
    “Royce is a good man,” Janet said, as if she
understood Julianna’s unspoken worries.
     
    “Do you know him well?” She pretended
indifference to the next man she was doomed to wed, though secretly
she was curious about him. Not that Royce’s character, or his
kindness or lack thereof, would make a difference. King Henry had
announced his decision. Julianna had nothing to say about it.
    “We’ve met a few times,” Janet said.
“Cadwallon speaks of Royce with affection and respect. He used his
influence with King Henry, so that Cadwallon and I were given
permission to marry. I will always be grateful to Royce for
that.”
    Royce of Wortham sounded decent enough, but
Julianna wasn’t satisfied. Resentment simmered just beneath her
carefully practiced, placid exterior. She was heartily sick of men
arranging her life for her, bestowing her estates and her body upon
husbands she did not know, and never asking what she wanted. Well,
she had taken a few steps to free herself from a lifetime of
obedience to King Henry and to the husbands he chose for her.
    “I trust Cadwallon’s judgment,” Janet said.
“When you meet Royce, you may well discover that you like him, even
though he is a secret agent.”
    “An agent?” Julianna could barely force the
words past her lips. She stared at Janet in stunned horror while
the world silently crumbled around her.
    “I’d be surprised if he actually does any
spying himself, these days,” Janet said in blithe ignorance of the
impression her words were making. “He used to, when he was younger.
Now, he merely directs King Henry’s agents. Cadwallon sometimes
works for Royce, you see. That’s how Cadwallon and I met, and it’s
how I know what kind of work Royce does for the king.”
    “Dear heaven.” Trying to force her mind into
some kind of order, Julianna hastily reviewed her present
conversation with Janet, and all of their talks before this one.
She didn’t think she’d ever said anything dangerous. No, she was
certain she hadn’t. She was always careful about what she said.
    “Julianna, what’s wrong?” Janet cried. “Are
you ill? You are so pale.”
    “His age,” Julianna gasped, clutching at the
one safe topic in Janet’s terrifying revelations. “You said, ‘when
he was younger.’ How old is Lord Royce?”
    “I don’t know, exactly. Let’s see now; his
children are grown and married, so he must be in his early forties
at least, perhaps much older.”
    “Another old man,” Julianna muttered.
    “Oh, dear,” Janet said with a smile that she
must have thought was understanding. She patted Julianna’s hand.