Lord Morgan's Cannon Read Free Page B

Being a monkey, Edward considered himself the most knowledgeable of all the animals. He was a little hard of hearing, having sat next to too many organs as they were turned for a few pennies. But he knew how to count, and could remember all the fruits better than any of his keepers, having a particular penchant for passion fruits and kiwis, treats some of the more stupid circus boys struggled to tell apart. Some said the white-faced capuchins of the French circuses were more clever, but Edward considered himself, a tufted capuchin, to be above even them, especially because he was learning to juggle fire.
    “He’s a big, hairy man,” said Edward. “The hair on his chin reaches down to his knees.”
    “No it doesn’t,” said Doris. “He looks like a nice man, with a long, carefully trimmed beard. I’ve seen many a beard, on many an ape, and Lord Morgan has style.”
    “He keeps his money in his watch pocket,” added Edward.
    “How do you know all this?” asked the anteater. “Have you ever seen him?”
    Doris demurred.
    “Lord Morgan has a beard. Lord Morgan has a beard. He is the cleverest man in the world,” said Bessie, flapping her wings.
    “Well? How do you know this?” asked the newly anointed Bear.

    Edward started one of his tales, describing how the Ring Master had invited Lord Morgan to dinner a few evenings before, the moment the Big Top had arrived in the fields surrounding the old slave city of Bristol. Edward has supped red wine, with the Ring Master, while Lord Morgan preferred white, said the monkey. They had eaten quail shot on the Mendip moors and chewed tobacco to end proceedings, as the men discussed politics.
    “No such thing!” declared Doris. “You didn’t have a place at the dinner. You were sitting on the Ring Master’s shoulder. Doing what you were told.”
    Edward ignored her. He told the elephant, the budgie, the anteater named after a bear, the hedgehog and any passing birds how Lord Morgan had indeed come to visit the Ring Master.
    It was a Tuesday night, the day usually reserved for cards. But on this night, the Ring Master had told Jim the Strongman, the clairvoyant woman, clowns and all the performing boys and girls to stay in their trailers. The Ring Master had prepared his own wagon, unpacked the silver cutlery, and sat down to eat with Lord Morgan of University College, Bristol.
    This bearded man was a professor of all the animals, said Edward, reciting what he had heard that night. He was a scientist, Lord Morgan had told the Ring Master over dinner, and he was particularly interested in whether certain animals had extraordinary abilities. He wanted to discover exactly what tricks animals could learn, and how they did so. He had made some observations of kittens and cats, and of his own pet dog, but he had yet to see how a more exotic animal might perform when posed certain challenges. So this Lord Morgan had made the Ring Master a proposal.
    He wanted to visit Whyte and Wingate’s Big Top, and he wanted to be given the best seat in the house. He wanted the Ring Master to arrange the most amazing, the most intricate, the most daredevil show he could, and he wanted to sit and observe it all from row E. He would watch each animal with great interest, especially the leopard he had passed on his way to the Ring Master’s wagon. He would take notes, and give them marks for intellect and artistry. He would pay particular attention to the instructions of the Ring Master, and how each animal responded to the directions they were given.
    The Ring Master, said Edward, had been gripped by Lord Morgan’s speech. He had twirled his own thin and waxed beard and attempted to use bigger words in his own conversation. As if to prove a point, the Ring Master asked Edward to pour Lord Morgan another glass of wine, which Edward of course did. Then he asked this professor of all animals what was in it for Whyte and Wingate’s Big Top?
    This confused Lord Morgan, reported Edward. So the