me, he griped, “Then go.”
I started to say something then stopped as he turned and walked away from me.
~
When I pulled up at the Thomas’ house, Jackson was standing outside waiting on me. It took me a minute of staring at his smile and willing myself to smile back before I got out of my car.
“Hey,” he cheered.
Smiling back, I repeated, “Hey.”
I started to step around him and go inside when he stopped me , asking, “So you’re pretty serious with him?”
Finding it hard to answer, I replied, “I guess.”
Jackson gave me a strange look before saying, “Ya’ll are living together.”
Nodding, I agreed, “I guess that is serious.”
Laughing at me, he said, “You say it like you just figured that out.”
Taking a moment to think, he wasn’t wrong. I was so caught up in being with him, I didn’t realize we were living together.
“I’m just staying there,” I assured, feeling as if I had in some way betrayed myself.
A soft smile formed as he offered, “If you’re just staying there, why don’t you just come stay with me while I’m down.”
Shaking my head, I thought ‘Henley wouldn’t like that’ as I said, “ Jacks.”
Jackson took a step closer, saying, “I really miss you, Ren.”
Before I could respond, Mrs. Thomas walked outside. Giving us a cheery smile, she walked over and hugged me.
I hugged her back before she pulled away, laughing, “I was wondering what was taking Jacks so long out here. Come on in, dinner’s ready”
Happy for the interruption, I followed her inside.
Dinner was the same as always at the Thomas’ table. Except now, I felt like I didn’t belong. Smiling and laughing with them on the outside my heart was breaking on the inside. This was never my family and I would never belong here. I belonged with Henley.
After saying my goodbyes, Jackson walked me out to my car. I wanted our goodbye to be quick so I could leave.
“Let me know when you come down again,” I said , opening my car door.
Holding onto the top of my car door, Jackson asked, “Do you wanna go somewhere?”
Caught off guard , I questioned, “Where?”
Smiling wide , he replied, “Anywhere.”
Rolling my eyes , I genuinely smile at him saying, “Maybe later.”
“I can wait,” he assured , hanging onto my car door and smiling wide.
Laughing and shaking my head at him, I said, “ I need to go.”
Making a pouty face, he pressed, “ Please.”
“I can’t,” I said , unsure of how I was really feeling at the moment.
With a disappointed expression, Jackson said, “It is serious.”
Shrugging, I replied, “We’re still gonna be friends Jacks.”
Nodding with a smile he agreed, “Always.”
Suddenly my eyes felt watery and I needed to get away from him. Sliding into my car, I pulled the door away from his hands and closed it.
~
I sat in my car, staring at Henley’s house, wondering why I came back. Conflicted and heartsick, I reminded myself Jackson was temporary. He was leaving again and Henley was always there. Henley was the only one there when I needed him. Everyone else had their own life and all he had was me.
Walking through the house, I was a little surprised that Henley was already in bed. Changing into one of his t-shirts, I made sure to put my clothes in the laundry basket before I slid into bed.
Reaching out to him, I whispered, “Are you awake?”
“Yes,” he snapped.
Disliking his tone, I snapped back, “What the hell is your problem?” before practically flying off the bed and hitting the floor.
In the moment it took me to sit up and realize he shoved me off the bed, Henley was standing over me. Grabbing my arm, he drug me into the living room. Kicking my feet, the wood floor burned against my bare leg until I finally got my footing and stood. As soon as I did , he shoved me again. Holding my hands out to catch myself, I slid across the floor on my arm this
[edited by] Bart D. Ehrman