Letting Go (Healing Hearts) Read Free Page B

purse, walked into the kitchen, and plopped on a stool at the breakfast bar.
    She’d all but given up hope of having a biological child when she’d been diagnosed with endometriosis ten years ago. And now, when the impossible had happened and she’d finally conceived, the baby’s father turned out to be a lying, cheating jerk.
    Scrolling through the address book in her Blackberry, she tried to locate the phone number of her gynecologist. She needed to schedule an appointment for prenatal care.
    Being a single mom would be hard, but she’d make the best of it. It just seemed so unfair.
    Why did you lie to me, Randy? You said you loved me. Didn’t your words mean anything? Have the past two years been nothing but a lie?
    A frustrated growl erupted. She pounded the counter with her fist and swore.
    When she reached for the phone, she noticed the light on her answering machine flickering, and pushed the button.
    “Diane, how are you? Are we still on for next weekend? I’ve got tickets to the symphony. Can’t wait to see you. Love you. Bye.”
    She had difficulty thinking through the fog in her brain. Randy’s message echoed in her head, sounding ten times louder than usual.
    Love you. Bye.
    Panic made her lungs constrict. She felt so trapped. Although getting an abortion would certainly fix her problem, she refused to kill her baby now that she’d finally conceived. Not after all those procedures and the emotional pain she’d suffered thinking she’d never have a child.
    But she’d hoped to raise her baby in a secure home. Now her child wouldn’t have that chance. Anger consumed her like a raging fire, the flames licking at her heart until it melted under the heat.
    Grabbing the answering machine, she screamed, “How could I be so stupid?”
    She hurled it at the floor, and it hit with a crash, scattering pieces in all directions. Elation washed over her at having utterly destroyed the stupid machine that had recorded Randy’s voice. But the high soon faded in another cloud of despair.
    Daddy was right. I am stupid, or I would’ve seen the signs.
    Maybe if she hadn’t come on so strong at the hotel last night, Ken would have slept with her. Then at least her baby would have had a father, even if it was based on a lie. Ken would have been the perfect man to raise her child.
    She buried her face in her hands. Fate had brought Ken right to her, and she’d almost had him. She’d seen the spark of desire lighting his eyes. What had she done wrong?
    He’d always been willing to meet her needs in the past—when they were both lonely. But then he had to get uptight and find religion.
    She wept as she picked the pieces of the broken answering machine off the floor. Angry at herself for being so naïve, she vowed to make the best of her situation and somehow endure the humiliation. Her baby might not have a father, but she’d make sure he or she felt loved.
    But the sting of Ken’s rejection still hurt. “Why did you have to go and find that stupid religion? You were my last hope.”
    She found it sadly ironic that all her life people had told her they envied her. They thought being wealthy and beautiful had to be wonderful, as if that meant she couldn’t have any real problems. But being attractive and successful hadn’t helped her at all. She was still stuck—pregnant and unmarried—and wondering how she’d allowed herself to get into such a mess.
    She had to face the truth. Nobody wanted her. Not Randy. Not Ken. No one.

Chapter 3
     
D iane sat in her doctor’s office in downtown Boise, waiting for the results of her blood work. Staring out the window, she watched people enter and exit the building.
    Someone tapped on the door. “May I come in?”
    “Sure.” Diane adjusted her hospital gown, which gaped in the back because she hadn’t bothered to tie it.
    Dr. Johnson gave her a sympathetic smile. She held her breath. Something is wrong.
    Shrugging off the thought, she asked, “When am I