Let Me Know Read Free Page B

building.
    To the rest of the country I was the nameless teen. To everyone in Crossfields, I was Amber, the girl who had been raped and tortured. The girl no one knew what to make of. The girl who was stared at or whispered about like some kind of freak show.
    And this trip appears to be no exception.
    As Emma and I walk through the mall, I feel all eyes on me, staring through my winter coat and long-sleeved T-shirt. Stripping me down to my dark secrets.
    Emma steers me to the adult store, located in a wing that sees the fewest shoppers. A female manikin stands in the window, wearing a white transparent baby-doll outfit with sheer white stockings reaching midthigh.
    “This is where you’re getting Liam a present?” I ask, voice part squeak, part awe.
    Emma grins, a light blush hitting her cheeks. “More like a joke present. I bought his real gift in Chicago last week.”
    I glance at the store again and my heart flutters in my chest, like a thousand butterflies searching for a way to break free. “I’ll wait for you here.” The last thing I want is to have a flashback because I spot a red slip, like the one a Victoria’s Secret model might wear.
    Emma tugs on my arm. “You have to come,” she says, her voice as squeaky as mine was a moment ago. “I can’t go in there alone. I’ll feel stupid.”
    I look between her and the store, digging my teeth into my lip. I owe her for my being a crappy best friend after what happened with Paul, and I owe her for what Paul did to Trent. “Okay.”
    We walk into the store, with Emma practically dragging me in, and draw up short as our virgin voyage takes us into the land of erotic clothing and triple-X movies. My face heats up, and feels as hot as Emma’s looks, her blush now a supercharged red.
    Emma giggles nervously as we walk down the aisle, beyond the sexy clothing and movies. She gives them a cursory glance. I focus on her and nothing else.
    We end up at the back of the store, at a wall containing everything from the mild to the shocking: multicolored condoms, edible body lotions, vibrators, sex toys. None of which I have a clue how to use. And I’m not about to read the directions to find out.
    Emma removes a package containing small balls. She reads the description and her eyes go as wide as her mouth. She shoves it back onto the display rack, almost missing it in her haste, and moves on.
    “One of the girls on the team made a sex video for her boyfriend for Christmas,” she says, voice low even though I’m the only person within hearing range.
    “Seriously?” I didn’t say it loud, but it feels as though the word bounced around the store at full volume. I glance around to make sure no one’s listening, not that they would know what we’re talking about. No one’s paying us any attention.
    “I couldn’t do that,” she says. “What if it ends up on YouTube? She could get kicked off the team.”
    “Did you tell her that?”
    “Yeah, but she trusts her boyfriend.”
    “But what if they break up?”
    “I don’t know. I’ve met him and he’s nice, but it’s still risky.”
    I laugh shortly. “Does that mean I don’t have to worry about you showing up on YouTube, other than for something to do with basketball?”
    “Definitely.” She goes back to searching through the items hanging on the wall. I select a bottle of strawberry-flavored body lotion, which seems a safe enough gift, and read the instructions.
    “What about these?” Emma holds up a pair of pink fur-lined handcuffs.
    My wrists and shoulders hurt
,
and my hands feel like they’re floating in the air.
I’m sitting
,
propped against a cold wall
,
the same temperature as the concrete floor.
The cool air wraps itself around me and I shiver.
    My breathing comes in fast, lungs fighting to draw in more air, which currently is evading them. The store blurs. I close my eyes and reach for something to steady me. My hand lands on something fairly solid.
It’s only a memory.
It can’t hurt