Least Likely To Survive

Least Likely To Survive Read Free Page A

Book: Least Likely To Survive Read Free
Author: Lisa Biesiada
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thinking it may come in handy later.
    I slowly approached the door, and looked out the glass to see if I had anything to worry about upon my exit.  The parking lot still appeared empty, so I pulled open the door, cursing the tattle-tale little bell, and proceeded to the shop next door, which happened to be the grocer.  Aside from the gun shop, this was another main reason I chose this particular strip mall: During any sort of catastrophe, where do most people head?  Cosco and Cabella’s.  Knowing both would be overrun with harried zombies, which also meant thieves, my spidey senses knew the ethnic grocery store would have a much better chance at being deserted.  Low and behold I was right.
    I entered the store, took a swift look around, and discovered I was alone.  Wasting no time, I grabbed some empty bags and got to work filling them with canned goods; smartly avoiding anything that may cause future digestive issues.  No one really needs to come down with a bout of diarrhea while running from zombies.
    Unfortunately, my Spanish was not the best, and most of the food was unreadable to me.  Yet each package had pictures, which made it a little easier to figure out what I might need.  Loaded down with all I could carry; which would have surprised me had I not always been a firm believer in ‘breaking your arms is worth it in the name of making only one trip’, I ran behind the counter, pausing to seize some beef jerky; sure I would need the extra protein, and also snagged two cartons of Marlboro Lights and a few extra lighters.  End of the world or not, I doubted now was the best time to give up smoking if I could help it.  Besides, they were lights which are basically diet cigarettes so I felt somewhat justified.
    After stocking myself up, I again approached the door to leave and was hit with a moment of brilliance:  In the parking lot stood Salvatore’s tricked out Hummer, complete with spare gas cans strapped to the back and I just happened to still have his keys on me.  I had no idea what awaited me, but knew that 4-wheel drive would surely be a good thing, and started to formulate a plot.  Somehow I had to reach the Hummer, throw all the food stuffs inside, go back to my car and grab my pack.  I took a few extra minutes to study the parking lot, which was still deserted, and calculate the distance between the two vehicles.  Thinking the whole production would probably take less than 60 seconds, I inhaled deeply, and ran. 
    Just as I was getting through the doorway, ladled with my guns and shopping bags, I almost ran face first into a zombie that had been turning the corner during my assessment, effectively escaping my notice.  I had thankfully been carrying all my bags in my left hand, freeing my right to open the door; so I used said hand to unsheathe the Smith & Wesson from under my left arm and in true cowboy fashion: aimed and fired.
    I felt the kickback shoot up my arm into my shoulder, and immediately regretted not grabbing something lighter in weight.  I had been so concerned with choosing weapons of maximum damage it had escaped my attention to think about the repercussions of firing.  Oh well, I would live, and maybe it would add to the cardio and address the weird underarm ‘chicken flap’ all women bemoan. 
    I finished internally scolding myself in time to see that the zombie was only a couple of feet in front of me, and I had scored a direct hit between its eyes.  Shooting someone in the head at point blank distance is messy.  Brains and blood shot everywhere, spattering the window of the store, and the sidewalk.  But it worked out nicely as the zombie collapsed to the ground in a motionless pile of grey matter and blood.
    Reholstering the gun, I hauled ass over to the Hummer. I hit the power locks, disabling the alarm, and threw my bags into the backseat.  Leaving the door open, I then dodged around the back to the other side where my car sat.  Opening the door, I leaned inside

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