Kisses for Lula Read Free Page B

to the photocopier with a vacant stare.
    There was no way a person could undergo such humiliation and still be breathing.
    Oh, who had I been kidding all this time?
Ben Latter didn’t even
know
me. And thank frik for that.
    I tried not to think about how just one look at him made me feel like a pile of mushy peas.
Maybe I
am
jinxed
, I thought to myself.
Maybe some of Grandma Bird’s crazy magic
has
messed me up somehow
.
    Alex’s voice came into my head.
    Focus, girl
.
    Okay. Maybe, just maybe, if I could somehow land my first kiss, then everything else would fall into place. I’d be normal. I’d be amazing.
If I could get Arnold Trenchard to oblige
. Uh-oh. What if that went all wolly winkas too? Who else was there?
    With a dry mouth I pulled The List out and was soon muttering quietly to myself, assessing all the options, trying not to think of blue, blue eyes, that strong body . . .
    ‘Tatty?’
    ‘Nyhee!’ I gasped, crumpling The List in my hand and resisting the urge to chew it up and swallow it. ‘Sophie! Geez, you gave me a fright.’
    ‘What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be working?’
    See what I mean? How can someone with multiple piercings have this solid a work ethic?
    ‘I
am
working,’ I said tetchily. ‘Just planning how I’m going to do all of Mike’s photocopying.’
    ‘Have you seen my access card?’
    ‘No. How’d you get in without it?’
    ‘Security let me in, but I need to find it today or file it as lost. It’s been gone since last Friday maybe.’
    ‘Right,’ I said. I mean, like I care about Sophie’s security card in the grand scheme of my seriously sucky life. Suddenly two things occurred to me: ‘Hey, you could check with Mabel. She found my copy card. Obviously got an eye for finding lost cards.’
    ‘Right,’ echoed Sophie, looking at me oddly. I know, my suggestion was lame, but I needed to
sound
like I cared so I could broach my second idea.
    ‘Um, don’t you have a brother, Sophie?’ I smiled at her encouragingly.
    Sophie smirked. ‘Don’t even think about it, witch girl. He likes his fingers.’
    Well, what do you say in reply to that, hm? Exactly. Not much. As Sophie left, I sank back down with The List. It was quiet. My stomach rumbled peacefully. My dark thoughts began to float away.
    Then:
    ‘Dude.’ Arnold loomed above me.
    I jumped. Frik. Arns was not supposed to see me today, looking like this.
    I shoved The List into my back pocket and considered options. Maybe I should let Arns see my vulnerable side.
    Yes!
    That could work! He might want to cheer me up with a kiss! A French one!
    ‘Don’t speak to me, Arns,’ I said in a quiet desperatemaiden voice. ‘I am the laughing stock of all St Alban’s and may infect you with social unacceptableness.’
    ‘Too late, my friend.’ (Oh no! The F word . . . not good.) Arnold slumped beside me. ‘Tallulah, I’m starting to think carefully about a makeover.’ Turning to look at me, he bit his lip anxiously. ‘I’ve got a pash.’
    My heart sank.
Nooo!
After sixteen years Arnold was choosing NOW to be interested in the opposite sex? Couldn’t he have waited a few minutes for me to make my move
before
he decided to fancy someone else?
    I gritted my teeth. Still the brutality crept out:
    ‘Arnold. The cool speak. It’s not working for you.’
    ‘Neither are the clothes,’ he agreed.
    ‘No. The clothes do nothing.’
    ‘Is there anything to work with?’ His eyes were pleading and wide. A little too wide.
    ‘The desperation is also not a good look.’
    ‘Duh, of course I’m desperate!’ he cried. ‘Did you know the Science Fair lot from PSG are here?’
    ‘The girls as well as the boys?’ I could feel my forehead crease in distress. Pamponia School for Girls was the neighbouring school to St Alban’s. More competition for scant boys. This was not good news.
    ‘So you know about St Alban’s.’ Arnold sighed. ‘Wish you’d given me a little warning. The walk over here was . . . not