But this Potter who now sat next to me in my beat up old red Mini wasn’t mine. He belonged to someone else in this where and when . But I couldn’t dwell on that. I couldn’t let the fact that he was in love with another hurt me. I couldn’t let it start to tear my heart apart. I feared that if I did let such feelings consume me, then they might return – the Elders who had fed off my unhappiness for so long. Wherever my Potter was – the man I had loved and been loved by, was happy. Noah had promised me that. Noah had promised that when my friends got pushed back, they would have no knowledge that I’d ever existed. So, therefore, how could they ever feel loss – pain – if I had never been a part of their lives?
But perhaps then the man sitting next to me was that Potter. The Potter who had loved me? Perhaps he just didn’t remember. Perhaps in this where and when I’d never been a part of his life. I looked front and pushed those thoughts away. If I started to believe that this Potter was mine, then I would start to hope that perhaps one day he would remember what we had once shared. But if he were to remember… what would happen then? Would the world start to break apart like it had once before? And if that happened, what would come through those cracks? Would the Elders return, growing stronger once again on our misery and heartache? No! I had to push such thoughts from my mind – just like I’d pushed Potter and my friends away. I was happy that they were happy. Leading lives together. I tried to picture Murphy and Pen together – living happily with their daughters Meren and Nessa. I conjured pictures in my mind of Isidor and Melody Rose together at last. And I smiled as I thought of Kayla. Beautiful Kayla, with the red fiery hair and temper to match. But she could be so soft – gentle when it mattered. I tried to ignore any twinge of unhappiness as I thought of her. I told myself that I didn’t miss her. She had become like a sister to me. A younger sister, but equal all the same. I tried not to think of her, telling myself that she might not yet be lost to me. I had come across Potter in this new world already, so the chances were I might come across Kayla, too. I’d come across all of them eventually. They wouldn’t remember – wouldn’t know me - but I would remember all of them. How could I ever forget what we had all once shared? Perhaps then we would share new adventures in this when and where . Perhaps once again, Kayla would become something like a sister to me. Perhaps Isidor like a brother, Murphy like a father, and Potter… what would I become to him? One of Sophie’s bridesmaids, perhaps? I didn’t like the thought of that at all.
“This is the place,” Potter said, flicking his cigarette out of the window into the dark.
I peered through the mud-splashed windscreen as my old car rattled over the uneven road and toward the pub Potter had pointed to.
The Bucket, it said on the sign that jutted from the ivy-covered wall of the small building. The pub sat back from the road and I steered my car into the car park out front. There were only two other cars.
“What are we doing here?” I asked, turning off the engine.
“Meeting a client,” Potter said, pushing open the door and climbing out.
“You said something about being infected?” I asked, locking my car door, although I doubted anyone would ever want to steal it from here or any other place.
“Look, hot-lips,” Potter said, scowling over the roof of the car at me, “I only let you tag along on the understanding that you don’t go asking questions. Just sit back, watch, and learn.”
“Oh, I’m sorry, I’m just meant to be filing and making the tea,” I said under my breath.
“What was that?” Potter said, shooting me a distrustful stare. “Did you say something?”
“Nothing,” I said, faking a smile, already wanting to punch Potter in his arrogant face. I came around the nose of the car, wobbling on