Kayden: The Past Read Free Page A

everything I had not to physically fight back in that moment. I knew I had to get away from him and give us both time to cool off. I walked to Scott’s house and found refuge on his floor for the evening. Tomorrow I’d face the music, and I prayed that neither one of us would speak of that moment again.

    I studied hard and wanted to give myself every opportunity to a college scholarship, but my senior year everything started to fall apart. In October, my parents sat me down and told me the worst news a kid could ever hear; they were getting divorced. Everything fell apart quickly after that ‘talk’.
    My dad moved out, and my mom immersed herself in her work.  Money became something just out of reach, and we never had enough. Dad didn’t contribute his share to household expenses or help out with my team costs. Wrestling, besides girls, was my one true love. I watched it and studied it like an obsessed fan. Without money, I couldn’t continue to play. My mom apologized over and over again, and I knew she meant it, but my dad, the one person I thought would understand my love of the sport, didn’t seem to give a fuck.
    I quit the wrestling team half way through the season, right after my eighteenth birthday. I know it pissed off my teammates and my coach, but we didn’t have extra money to pay the team fees and barely paid the household bills each month. It ripped my heart out; my one true reason to do well and achieve in school had vanished. Not only did my family disintegrate, but so did my only way to attend college and the reason I stayed out of trouble.
    I started working to fill the void after school and help my mom pay the bills. My life became something entirely not my own. I needed to escape my new reality. I found other things to occupy my time. They were the only things that made me forget the bullshit that filled my life.
    A friend, who will remain nameless, gave me my first taste of cocaine towards the end of senior year. A small bump, but it rocked my world. I’m not condoning drugs, but the rush it gave me is unlike anything I’ve ever experienced and spent the rest of my life chasing. I knew it was something I couldn’t do again, at least not anytime soon. I needed to stay on track and graduate from high school.
    I worked at night and tried to stay awake during the day in class. I wasn’t always successful keeping my eyes open; the boredom of hearing a teacher give a monotone lecture was better than any sleeping pill I’ve taken in my life. I wanted to kiss the ground and thank my lucky stars the day senior exams rolled around. I had made it and done well enough that no matter my exam scores, I’d receive my diploma.
    My mom had a new boyfriend, Joe, and he occupied her free time by the time graduation day arrived. I was nearly blind from my mother snapping so many pictures; she wanted to capture every moment of her oldest child graduating from high school, an event she never experienced for herself.
    My mom found out she was pregnant with me at the beginning of her senior year, and she dropped out to raise me and work full-time. I have a younger brother and sister, but we were never really close. The age gap was too great, and we were nothing alike. They were close, but I was the outsider.
    “Is dad coming today?” I asked as she placed the small pink camera in her purse.
    “I don’t know, baby. I haven’t spoken to him in a long time. I sent him the invitation; the rest is up to him,” she said before kissing me on the cheek. I knew with her words that he wouldn’t be there. He barely even acknowledged my existence since he left months ago.
    As I walked down the aisle, I looked through the crowd trying to find him, but he wasn’t there. I don’t know why I even fucking bothered; I knew the bastard wouldn’t be there. Besides the money he made, he wasn’t missed in the house. He was a miserable bastard and not very loving. Things had been calmer, and my mom and I got along better