Just Ask Read Free Page B

in general. But the answers usually come eventually. Oh, not for everything, of course. I guess there are some things we just have to wait on.”
    But she got me thinking. And I had to admit that there seemed to be something missing in my life. Kindof like a hole or a gap or a vacuum. I couldn't even really describe it. But maybe it was religion.
    But that didn't mean it had to be the Christian religion. To be honest, I felt like I'd had my fill of that. So I decided to check out my own Korean roots. And after I looked into Chundoism (which turned out to be a more modem Korean religion that actually had some roots in Christianity), I decided to go a little further back in time. And that's when I began to investigate Buddhism.
    I got some books from the library and then went online to research everything I could find. And believe me, there's a lot. And a lot of it is pretty confusing too. At least at first. But if you sort of relax your brain a little and just think about it awhile, it starts to sink in. Then if you boil it down to the basics, it slowly begins to make a little sense. And in some ways, it's not all that different from Christianity.
    Take the Five Precepts (kind of like the Ten Commandments). Basically they are: 1) Don't kill, but be kind. 2) Don't steal, but be generous. 3) Control your lust, and practice awareness. 4) Don't lie or gossip, but use good words. 5) Don't use intoxicants, but think clearly.
    Now really, is there anything wrong with any of that? I didn't think so. But when my parents (mostly my mom) heard me talking about my exploration into Buddhism, well, you'd think that I'd told them I wanted to worship the devil.
    After my mom stopped crying, my dad told her thatit probably wasn't such a bad thing. “Knowledge is good,” he said. “And Kim is an intelligent girl. She'll discover the truth in time.”
    I wasn't exactly sure what he meant by this “discover the truth in time” line. Like did he think that I'd get tired of Buddhism and go back to their Christian ways of thinking? But his words seemed to appease my mom, and at the time, that was good enough for me.
    Consequently, I've been much more discreet about my Buddhism research. And for the sake of family and friends, I try to keep quiet about my religious journey. Chloe is the only one I ever talk to about stuff like this. And thankfully, she doesn't ever put me down.
    And some things about Buddhism I really like. For one thing, Buddhists don't criticize other religions. They sort of believe that all religions eventually lead to truth. And that's kind of cool. Buddhism has a lot to do with the mind and practicing self-control and gaining understanding. Nothing wrong with that.
    But I do have one little problem with Buddhism. Okay, maybe it's a big problem. But it has to do with karma, which I used to think was pretty cool, until I discovered more about it.
    I began studying the Four Noble Truths (foundational in Buddhism), and I got a little confused by the belief that everything that happens to you (good or bad) is essentially your own fault. Now, it's not like I don't want to take the blame for something when it's really my fault(like, say, when I got that speeding ticket and got stuck writing the column), but what about things that I have absolutely no control over?
    For instance, I was abandoned at birth. According to the Second Noble Truth, this must be my fault. So maybe I cried too much as a baby. Or maybe my diapers were really nasty and stinky. I don't know. But I don't see how you can blame a baby for the fact that its parents don't want it anymore. That just seems wrong.
    And today as I wrote back to Fed Up, I didn't see how it could possibly be her fault that her parents split up and started acting like total morons. It's messing up her life and causing her grief, and I just don't get that.
    So I am a little confused about Buddhism too and have decided not to think about religion any more today. Instead I plan to think about