Junie B. Jones Is a Beauty Shop Guy Read Free Page B

my hat.
    “Yeah, only what if I’m playing on theplayground…and somebody pulls off my devil horn hat…and then they pull off my shower cap, too? Then everyone will see my sprigs. And they will laugh and laugh.”
    I tapped on my chin.
    “
Three
hats!” I said. “I will wear three hats to school! ’Cause that will give me a whole extra hat of protection!”
    I opened my bottom drawer and found my ski mask. ’Cause ski masks hide your whole entire everything!
    I put the ski mask on my head. Then I put on my shower cap. And my hat with the devil horns.
    I looked at myself in the mirror.
    “Now nobody can see anything! Not even my nose!”
    After that, I got dressed. And I skipped real happy to the kitchen.

    Grampa Miller’s eyes popped out at me.
    “Whoa, whoa, whoa! You can’t go to school looking like that,” he said.
    That’s how come I had to tell him a teensy beansy fib.
    “Yeah, only today is crazy hat day. And my teacher said we can wear however many hats we want,” I said.
    Grampa Miller scratched his head.
    Then he watched me eat my sandwich through my mouth hole.
    And he drove me to school.
    I skipped into Room Nine very joyful.
    I sat down at my table next to Lucille.
    “Hello,” I said. “It’s me. It’s Junie B. Jones. See me, Lucille? See me? I am wearing an attractive hat assortment.”
    Just then, a meanie boy named Jim pointed and shouted.
    “HEY, EVERYBODY! LOOK AT LOONEY B. JONES! WHAT A GOONIE BIRD!” he shouted.
    Then all of a sudden, he speeded acrossthe room! And he grabbed my devil horn hat right off my head!
    All of Room Nine laughed and laughed.
    ’Cause they saw my shower cap, of course!
    Only lucky for me, because just then my teacher hurried up into the room. And she took control of people.
    Her name is Mrs.
    She has another name, too. But I just like Mrs. and that’s all.
    Mrs. grabbed my hat from that meanie Jim. And she gave it back to me.
    Then she yelled at all the children. And she took me into the hall.
    Mrs. bended down next to me.
    “Okay, kiddo. What’s the story here?” she asked.
    I rocked back and forth on my feet.
    ’Cause I didn’t want to tell her the story here, that’s why.
    “Yeah, only I don’t actually know what you are referring to,” I said real soft.
    “The
hats
, Junie B. What’s the story with the hats?”
    Finally, I did a big breath. And I told her the story.
    The Story with the Hats
by
Junie B. Jones
    “Once upon a time there was a little girl named Pinkie Gladys Gutzman. And she was practicing to be a beauty shop guy. Only too bad for her. ’Cause her stupid dumb bangs kept on getting tiltier and tiltier. And that’s how come she had to cut them off. And now she wishes she was never even Pinkie. And that is all the details Iwould like to share with you at this time.”
    I did a big breath.
    “The end.”
    Mrs. put her hands on my shoulders.
    “Junie B.? Honey? Are you telling me that you cut your bangs off? Is that what this is about?”

    I did not answer her.
    Then all of a sudden, Mrs. took off myski cap. And I didn’t even know she was going to do that!
    “No,” I hollered. “Don’t!”
    Only it was too late.
    Mrs. saw my hair.
    She hugged me real tight.
    “Oh, Junie B.,” she said. “What happened?”
    I started to cry all over again.

    “Sprigs,” I said. “Sprigs happened.”
    After that, Mrs. gave me some tissues.
    And me and her sat down on the floor.
    And we figured out what to do.

9 / Learning a Lesson
    Finally, Mrs. put my devil horn hat back on my head.
    “Here,” she said. “This will be the only hat you’ll need to wear today. I promise.”
    After that, we went back into Room Nine. And Mrs. told a teensy beansy fib.
    “Boys and girls…may I have your attention, please? Junie B. is starting to get the sniffles. And so I’m going to let her wear her hat in class.”
    She looked at that meanie Jim.
    “All day, Jim. She’s going to wear it all day. And no one is to touch it,” she said.