Junie B. Jones Has a Monster Under Her Bed Read Free Page B

Bob.
    Then all of us crawled down the middle of their bed. And we sneaked under their covers.
    Only too bad for me. ’Cause Mother rolled right over on Philip Johnny Bob’s trunk. And it waked her right up.
    She turned on the light.
    I did a gulp.
    “Hello. How are you today? Me and my friends are sleeping here. ’Cause we didn’t think you’d mind, probably.”
    Mother carried me back to my room zippity quick.
    Then she leaned close to my ear. And she talked very scary with her teeth closed.
    “Do…
not
…get…out…of…bed…one…more…time,” she said.
    And so guess what?
    I didn’t.

6 / Flatsos
    The next day at school, I was pooped and tired.
    I opened one eye with my fingers. And I drawed a picture for art.
    It did not turn out that professional.
    After that, I holded up my head with my hands. And I waited for school to be over.
    Me and that Grace rode home on the bus together.
    I yawned and yawned.
    “Darn it, Grace. I wish you never eventold me that monsters can turn invisible. ’Cause now I can’t even close my eyes at night.”
    “I can,” said that Grace. “That’s because I don’t have a monster under my bed anymore. My mom figured out how to get rid of it.”
    My eyes got big and wide.
    “How, Grace? How did she do that?”
    “Easy,” said that Grace. “First, she sucked it up in the vacuum cleaner. Then she put the vacuum cleaner bag in the trash compactor. And she squished the monster into a
flatso
.”
    Just then, I hugged and hugged that girl! ’Cause that was brilliant, of course!
    “Thank you, Grace! Thank you! Thank you! ’Cause I have a vacuum cleaner right in my very own home! And so I can do that too, probably!”
    After I got off my bus, I zoomed to my house speedy fast.
    “GRANDMA MILLER! GRANDMA MILLER! I KNOW HOW TO GET RID OF THE MONSTER!” I hollered.
    Then I runned to the closet and got Mother’s vacuum cleaner. And I pulled that big thing all the way to my room.
    Grandma Miller came to my door.
    I told her all about how to get rid of the monster. And guess what? She was a good sport about it!
    First, she plugged the vacuum cleaner right into my wall. Then she put it under the bed. And she sucked the monster right out of there!
    “HURRAY! HURRAY! YOU GOT HIM! YOU GOT THE MONSTER, GRANDMA!” I yelled real thrilled.

    Grandma Miller runned with the bag to the kitchen. And she throwed it in the trash can.
    “There. That ought to do the trick,” she said very happy.
    I looked and looked at the trash.
    Then I did a teeny frown.
    “Yeah, only here’s the problem, Grandma. You didn’t actually put the bag in the trash compactor. And that is what turns the monster into a flatso.”
    Grandma Miller smiled.
    “Yes, but this house doesn’t
have
a trash compactor, Junie B.,” she said. “
Your
monster will just have to stay in the vacuum cleaner bag.”
    My frown got bigger.
    “Yeah, but what if he leaks out, Grandma? Then maybe he might float in the air. All the way back to my room.And he will get under my bed again.”
    Grandma Miller tapped on the counter with her fingers. Then her cheeks filled up with air. And she let it out real slow.
    “Okay…how ’bout this? What if I take it outside? I’ll take the bag outside. And I’ll push it way down in the big garbage can. And then I’ll press the lid down really tight, so he can’t get out.”
    “Yeah, but he still won’t be a flatso,” I said very whining.
    Just then, Grandma Miller got fusstration in her.
    She grabbed the vacuum cleaner bag and ran outside.
    Then she put it on the driveway.
    And she got in her car.
    And she backed up over that thing with her tires.
    Pretty soon, she came back in the house.
    She brushed her hands together.
    “There!
Now
he’s a flatso!” she said kind of growly.
    After she left, I got on the couch. And I stared very nervous at the driveway.
    ’Cause guess why?
    A car is not a trash compactor.
    That’s why.

7 / Snarlies and Snufflies
    That night, I heard snarlies