me?
It’s only a few moments later when I decide to take a break and hunt him down. I’m not doing it over the phone. I need to look into his dark brown eyes and see his expression.
It takes me fifteen minutes to locate him on campus. He’s sitting in the library working on an essay that should have been done days ago. When he sees me he stands abruptly, placing both hands in his trousers. “Tamsyn. What are you doing here?” His husky voice use to do things to me every single time I heard it, but right now it makes me cringe.
My eyes are welling up with tears, my lips trembling as I conjure the nerve to ask the question I can’t stand to hold in any longer. “Tell me it’s not true.”
He shakes his head and peers down at an open textbook. “What?”
I shove the book off the table, grabbing the attention of everyone else in the room, as well as my ex-boyfriend. “Say it’s a terrible rumor, Shaun. Tell me you were never with her?”
He opens his mouth, but words fail to come out. The truth is written all over his face, and it takes everything in me not to fall to the ground and weep. This is the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, to have children, and even grandchildren. I can’t abstain from running around the desk until I’m able to beat and punch every part of him I can reach. “You son of a bitch. How could you do this to me?”
He takes hold of my arms to prevent me from hitting him. “Tam, please. It’s not what you think. It was an accident. We were drunk. I thought she was you, and everything afterwards just kind of happened. I couldn’t stop. It was just sex. She meant nothing to me.”
If this is supposed to soften the blow, it’s not working on me. “Bullshit!” I back up. “That’s bullshit.”
“She blackmailed me. She wants me for herself. She said if I didn’t break up with you, she’d tell you the baby was mine.”
“Is it? Are you the father of her child? Did you stick your dick inside of my roommate?” I know I’m being irrational in a public place, and it’s inappropriate and unlike me, but I’m not about to be made a mockery of and not defend myself. “You’re disgusting!” I jerk away from him and point. “You stay away from me.”
He puts his hands on his head and peers around the room at all the spectators. I’ve kicked him in the balls without having to actually do it.
“Tamsyn,” he’s pleading while chasing after me. I need to get out of there. The love of my life impregnated another woman. I feel wretched. I’m crumbling and need a safe place to come to grips with it. I need to find Chrissy and give her a piece of my mind.
Shaun catches up to me as we exit the building. He grabs me by the arm and forces me to stop. “Please listen to me. I broke up with you because I made a dick move and screwed up. I knew once you found out there would be no room for reconciliation. Baby, I’m sorry. It’s not that I don’t love you. I fucked up.”
“Yeah, you really did.” For the second time I pull my arm from his hold. “You succeeded screwing up everything. Congratulations. You’re the bastard my father always told me you were. Tell your new girlfriend she can have you. You both make me sick. I hope she traps you into a loveless relationship you’ll never be able to escape from.”
I leave him to sulk while rushing back to the dealer car I used to drive to the college. Upon climbing inside, I let it all out. My makeup burns as it seeps into my eyes, and I do my best to wipe it away without making more of a mess for me to have to clean up before I make it back to the dealership.
It hits me like a rushing hurricane, the memories, the petty fights, and the makeup sex. Every beautiful moment we shared, the good and the bad. It’s all gone. One poor decision has ruined an opportunity for a future. Like I blinked and woke up in another person’s horror, my life is ruined.
I manage to calm down enough to make it back to the dealership.