Jennifer Government: A Novel Read Free Page B

hit SEND.
    “Buy, I just stepped out of the shower.”
    “Tell me you’ve got liquid.”
    “What am I, a day-trader? Which company?”
    “National Rifle Association.”
    “The NRA? Are they even listed?”
    “Jason,” Buy said, “everyone’s listed.”
    “I don’t know…I’d have to sell out of another position. Look, tell you what, leave it with me—”
    “There’s no time. You know how this works. The first fish to take a bite will stir up the sharks.”
    “I’m sorry, Buy. We don’t operate like this.”
    He heard himself say: “I’ll forfeit the commission.”
    “What?”
    “If the stock doesn’t rise, I’ll eat the commission.” He swallowed. He was pretty sure he wasn’t allowed to do that. He was pretty sure that if the NRA ticker price fell, Mitsui would both fire and sue him. “Give me at least twenty million and I’ll take no commission unless you make money.”
    “Are you serious?”
    The commission on twenty million dollars was four hundred thousand. He thought,
October 27, October 27. “
Very serious.”
    “Well, fuck,” Jason said. “You’ve got yourself a deal, buddy.” “Thank you,” Buy said. He closed his eyes. His chest still hurt.

5 Wal-Mart
    “I found your presentations to be uniformly disappointing,” the teacher said. He was leaning against his desk, arms folded. Every time he turned his head, his glasses reflected sunlight at Hayley, as if he was shooting rays of disapproval. “I recommend that you all improve the level of your critical thinking.”
    He began walking between aisles, dropping papers onto desks. Hayley saw a
D
, and an
F;
a little guy with glasses got a
C-
. She exhaled. This was not going to be good.
    She heard whispering behind her and turned. Three girlswere huddled together. When they saw Hayley looking, they closed tighter.
    A paper landed on her desk. There was a lot of red pen, with words like
superficial
. At the bottom: F.
    Hayley raised her hand. “Why do I get an
F
for saying capitalizm is good when that’s what everyone else says too? It’s not fair.”
    “Hayley, what’s not fair is that our society rewards selfishness.
That’s
not fair.”
    So move to China
, Hayley thought. “You should know I’ll be challenging this grade.” The McDonald’s curriculum panel wouldn’t let this crap stand, you could bet your ass.
    “I don’t think it’s fair, either,” a boy to Hayley’s left said. “My parents say you have to understand how capitalizm works to get ahead. That self-interest is a
good
thing. Shouldn’t you be preparing us for the real world?”
    “Mercurys,”
one of the whispering girls said.
    Hayley turned around again. “What did you say about Mercurys?”
    They looked at her, their faces guarded. “The Nike Town at the mall is getting in some Mercurys.”
    Hayley’s jaw dropped. “Are you
serious?”
    “Thanks to
self-interest,”
the teacher said, “it’s legal to let a person starve to death in the street while you drive past in your Mercedes. Is that fair?”
    “We heard five pairs.”
    “No
way!
When?” Hayley gripped the desk. “When are they getting the Mercurys?”
    “Tonight. Six-thirty.” The girl glanced at her friends. “Want to meet us there?”
    “Oh, yeah!” She felt faint and sick all at once. Mercurys were two and a half thousand dollars, and Hayley didn’t have that much, but she could borrow: there were ATMs at the mall. It would be totally worth it; Mercurys weren’t just cool shoes; theywere an investment. She could sell them tomorrow for twice what she bought them for, maybe more. What if—what if she could get
two
pairs?
    “It’s very disappointing,” the teacher said, “that none of you can see past simple consumerism. Very disappointing.”
    Mercurys
, Hayley thought.
Oh my God
.

6 NRA
    Billy Bechtel built tanks. Big ones. They had caterpillar treads and cannons on the front and swiveling machine guns; they were fucking impressive, was what they were. When anyone