It Runs in the Family Read Free Page B

community, to one another, and to our parents. We learned about people from watching and interacting with all of these adults, learning about the pain that they carried and the convictions that they held.
    One woman taught me to sew and helped me make clothes for a porcelain doll that she gave me. When I broke it, she helped me superglue it back together. The doll belonged to her when she was young and she trusted and loved me enough to put those precious memories in my oafish little hands. There was also a young couple who lived at Jonah House who took care of us while everyone else was away on a retreat one weekend. It was only for a few days, but it seemed like a lifetime of joy and delight. They introduced us to breakfast for dinner (pancakes after dark!) and eating dessert first. We were silly all through dinner. They were so much fun—such a change from our normal dinner routine: big pots of uninspiring food, serious conversations that we were expected not to interrupt, good manners, and cleaning our plates (without eating too fast).
    Once, when my brother Jerry and I were very young, Mom and Dad were both in prison at the same time. Mom had been arrested at the Pentagon. She had been given—unexpectedly and absurdly—a six-month sentence, which was later shortened to three months. At the same time, Dad had gone to Georgia to bring a message to Jimmy Carter, who was campaigning for the presidency at the time, to ask him to run on a platform of nuclear disarmament. Dad and the rest of the delegation were arrested.
    This was not an easy time. Mom and Dad had not planned on being in jail at the same time. I turned three and my brother turned two while they were away. We all struggled with being apart.
    Jerry and I were taken care of by two community members—Ladon Sheets and Joan Burd. They were not strangers; both had been core members of the community for years, but they went from being occasional babysitters and playmates to being our primary caregivers without a lot of notice or preparation.
    Ladon was a military veteran, a former IBM executive who had spent time at Koinonia Partners, a Christian community founded by Clarence and Florence Jordan in Georgia. In The Time’s Discipline , the biography written jointly by my parents, Ladon is described as bringing “a clear Biblical conscience and orientation” to the community, while Joan “came from a family farm and twelve years of religious life.”
    Joan was playful but also well-organized and consistent. Ladon was very serious, but we were able to get him to play with us. He lived in a closet-sized room on the top floor and would play Angry Rhinoceros with us (basically a combo of tag and wrestling).
    We were too young to have very distinct memories of that time, but I do remember that it was tough for us and our parents. Jerry had nightmares and often woke up crying. He also fell against the coffee table and broke his two front teeth while they were away. In The Time’s Discipline , Mom wrote: “It isn’t hard to be in jail; it is a different way of being. But being away from one’s little ones, unable to respond to Jerry’s crying at night, is terrible.”
    In one letter to my mom, Ladon wrote: “We are discovering a whole new relationship with the children.” Mom rejoiced at this, but also worried about being replaced. Mom wrote from jail:
Frida seems to understand a great deal, she has seen others in the community go to jail, has known why they were there, has welcomed them home. But, when I told Frida, before the trial, that I might have to go to jail, she responded, “No! NO!” as if her denial could be more stubborn than reality itself. Her denial continued for days, to be replaced by anger. But I can talk to Frida and she can understand. Jerry—will he even remember a mother whom he hasn’t seen for ninety days? He does not lack for understanding. But he is under two. Communication with him is very physical. Since I cannot see him, hug, hold,