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of the words that he called her almost daily. He called her those names so frequently that she had begun to believe him. Maybe she was selfish, maybe it was her fault and had she not been acting like a hungry filthy animal, their baby might still be alive. Each day the emotional abuse got worse but still, she held on. There has got to be a light at the end of the tunnel she told her mother in law who'd insisted that Aurora try and stick it out. She told her that it was just a phase that her son was going through. Aurora imagined that he too felt guilty, had he not refused to go to the store, their baby would be alive. And they might have had a chance at being a family but as it were, Randy withdrew into himself and as days turned into months he got more and more withdrawn. The first time that she suggested that they find someone to talk to was the first time that he'd hit her.
    He had been sitting in the living room watching television when she sat down next to him and started rubbing his back. Her touch made him close his eyes and for a moment he relaxed. But when she mentioned that she'd just gotten off the phone with a therapist, he snapped and lashed out at her with such force that it knocked her onto the floor. Had she not been able to wrangle free, there was no doubt in her mind that Randy would have continued beating her. Once she was safely out of the house, she'd gotten into her car and drove to the police station. By the time the police arrived, her husband Randy was dead. He'd gone into the basement and hung himself.
     For Aurora, she'd lost her entire family in a matter of months. But thanks to the help of a therapist, after several months she was able to move on. She began to realize that her husband's suicide was not her fault. He'd even said so in the note he left, he told her that he was sorry and that he could no longer live with the guilt. Losing the baby was only the half of it, her therapist had told her. There must have been something else going on in his life, perhaps something from his past that drove him to think that there was no other way out. And that was something Aurora hadn't counted on. She thought she knew everything there was to know about her husband, but looking back there were times, especially when they were around his family that he looked lost and forlorn. Like he was the only one in the room, and that no one else was paying any attention to him. His mother always tried to justify his depression by saying that he was always a loner and wasn't used to expressing his feelings. It was only when he and Aurora were by themselves that he'd be more loving and open. But even then when she'd ask him about his strange behavior around his family he'd tell her that everything would be alright, and that he just wasn’t one to get all emotional, and sappy around them all the time. He said that sometimes he just wanted to pop in, say hello and leave. So aurora accepted his answers. After all, they were his family not hers, but after he committed suicide, they blamed his death on her. They told her that she'd put too much pressure on him and she'd thrown the death of their baby in his face. Aurora remembered countless times when she tried to communicate with his family but it was to no avail, Randy's family hated her, and wanted nothing to do to with her.
    They wouldn’t even listen when she tried to tell them about the suicide note that Randy had written.  So even though he had only struck her once and it was under duress, she knew what it felt like to be a victim of emotional and physical abuse.
    The only difference was that it only happened once, and had he not killed himself, she was positive that she would have eventually gone back. That was something that most people could not fathom. Why go back after the first time? It just didn’t make sense. But Aurora had first-hand explanations as to why most women went back. Fear was one of the most obvious reasons that people went back to their