Incensed Read Free Page B

contest shaking her head and laughing at the others.
    Sadao stood up. He stretched his arms and rubbed his biceps. He was immediately swamped by autograph seekers, so Fake Seacrest grabbed the closest contestant, the middle-aged Hong Konger, who looked as lost as a substitute teacher in a tough school.
    â€œWhere did things start to go wrong for you, fella?” Fake Seacrest asked him.
    The man shook his head. “That was the worst taste I’ve ever had in my mouth,” he said. “I’ve eaten brains, balls, and anuses of all kinds of animals and none of that even comes close.”
    Fake Seacrest chuckled and touched the man’s arm. “Well, better luck next time!” A handler wrangled Sadao away from the crowd and brought him to face the camera. “Sadao,” said Fake Seacrest as he bowed slightly, “yet another championship for you. What’s next?”
    â€œI am going to travel in Taiwan with my good friend Charlie. We both love everything and everybody here,” said Sadao, adding, “ Xie xie, da jia ,” in perfect Mandarin. The crowd cheered appreciatively.
    Chompin’ Charlie was signing autographs as well. Who knew competitive eaters were so popular? When they managed to get him next to Fake Seacrest, Charlie said, “Sadao beat me fair and square, but my mouth is always up for a rematch. Bring it on!”
    I felt someone leaning heavily on me. I turned and stared into Dwayne’s bloodshot eyes.
    â€œThis was a big mistake,” he said.
    â€œAre you all right?” asked Nancy. “I have some mints if you need them.”
    â€œI could use a few,” he said. Nancy handed him the entire pack. He rattled out a handful and popped them. “I thought I could handle it but they used the foulest stinky tofu ever!”
    â€œYou looked like you were going to be sick,” I said.
    â€œI haven’t ruled that out yet. Let’s get out of here. The losers have no right to hang around the field after a championship game.” I noticed several people looking at Dwayne with sad smiles.
    â€œAre you sure you don’t want Sadao’s autograph?” I teased. He grunted and sucked down more of Nancy’s mints.
    â€¢â€¢â€¢
    We walked Nancy to the Jiantan MRT station. She was behind on a project, the orientation packet for first-year students of Taiwan National University’s College of Life Science. My girlfriend was in a doctoral biotechnology program. Nancy and I did a one-arm embrace when we parted.
    Dwayne slumped noticeably after Nancy was gone. Showing weakness in front of women is taboo in his culture, or in every chauvinistic culture, I guess. We pushed our way north on Dadong Road.
    â€œDo you want to go home?” I asked Dwayne. He was a leaning tower of muscle with a top floor that reeked.
    â€œI’m good to work the rest of the night,” huffed Dwayne. His breath smelled like a scoop of mint ice cream melting on a steaming pile of shit.
    We passed a stand selling the deep-fried variety of stinky tofu.
    â€œHow about we get a couple plates of that?” I asked Dwayne.
    He grimaced in pain but I could tell he was suppressing a laugh. “I’m not going to eat any more of your bullshit Han Chinese food.”
    We turned west on Danan Road and passed Cicheng Temple. Supposedly this is where the night market originated a century ago as a series of snack stands outside the temple to feed hungry worshippers.
    â€œMaybe it’s appropriate for you to make an offering for Mazu,” I suggested. “Our Heavenly Holy Mother might be able to help you out.”
    Dwayne soldiered on. “If I don’t sit down soon, I’ll be making an offering in the street,” he said.
    I gave him a wider berth as we continued down Danan until we reached the corner of Daxi Road. He ducked into the best skewer and stew joint in all of Shilin Night Market, Unknown Pleasures—that’s my food