In the Rearview Read Free Page A

out
    Oblivious and unconscious
    All I want is more sleep
    Because when I’m there
    Somewhere in dream land
    Fast asleep
    Nothing matters
    I’m not sad
    I’m not a disappointment
    I’m just floating through
    Always wanting
    More sleep

Better Off

    I know you are
    Most certainly
    And undeniably
    Better off
    Without me
    You are more capable
    To love
    You are more honest
    And better in general
    At being what someone
    Needs and deserves
    I am broken
    Beaten
    Standing on one leg
    Only half my heart beating
    I know you put forth
    More effort
    And genuine love
    While I continue to
    Make mistakes
    And ruin what I have
    But that is who I am
    And until I find
    The one who makes me
    A better person
    That is how I will stay
    So as hard as it is to say
    You should move on
    Be without me
    Because you are certainly
    Better off that way

Take The Time

    Life’s so busy
    No time to slow down
    Always rushing
    Never stopping to look around
    And appreciate life how it is
    And we rush
    Without stopping
    We miss opportunities
    And there’s nothing worse
    Than looking back
    And regretting something
    You did or didn’t do

 
    Meagan stared down at her desk. Her focus moved beyond the assignment in front of her without actually seeing what she was looking toward. There were lines, spaces of white, and blobs of writing, but nothing seemed important enough to consider closely. Truthfully she didn’t care.
    She didn’t feel the need to focus.
    Her gaze slowly moved up to the front of the classroom, and again she fixated on a point past what was before her. She didn’t concentrate on the teacher. There was a face, a moving mouth, but she didn’t connect it with the sounds struggling slowly, like sticky sludge past her ears. She didn’t hear the instructions being uttered; each word fell on deaf ears as she mindlessly doodled.
    Twisting her hair around her finger, she thought about how nice it would be to be at home, in bed, with the curtains closed instead of in this loud and hyper school. It seemed her classmates had recently started caring too much about what was going on around them. There was too much drama, too much noise, too much concern jumping all around her. It was all so taxing.
    It was such a bother.
    Meagan, in contrast, was usually in a world of her own. Her head felt fuzzy most of the time, and unless she used a lot of ene rgy, most conversations sounded muffled, like there was cotton in her ears. She didn’t feel the need to engage anymore. Her desire to try so hard just to do what had once come easily had dwindled to nothing. At first she’d tried, but not now. Not anymore. It had become too difficult to care.
    And that was her biggest problem. Meagan didn’t care much about any of these changes. She was fine walking through school without any effort. Her feet felt a little heavier as each day passed, and her head felt a little more under pressure of a crushing fog that numbed her, but she pushed through it all. She didn’t mind neglecting what used to bring her excitement. In fact, it was just easier not to give a crap.
    Everything was distinctly lackluster these days.
    ****
    She was startled by a loud cough and her focus snapped back up. Several of her classmates were looking toward her, and so was her teacher. Others were looking down with embarrassment for her.
    â€œMeagan?”
    Yep, she had definitely missed something. “I’m sorry, I didn’t hear the question.”
    These were the only times Meagan cared about her inattention. Her cheeks warmed, and her blood pressure spiked. Flustered, she glanced to her fingers, fidgeting and twisting around each other in her lap.
    â€œPlease pay better attention.” There was no anger in her voice, but Meagan did detect a note of disappointment.
    â€œOkay.” She didn’t add anything else.
    There was nothing to add anyway. She didn’t apologize because, honestly, she wasn’t sorry she