Illywhacker Read Free Page A

with anticipation, heard her laugh, saw her throw her small plump hands into the air with girlish delight, watched the same ringed hands accompany the hamper, like an escort of anxious doves, to the trunk of the Hispano Suiza.
    And what newcomer, seeing the hamper, the car, the excitement of the hostess’s eyes, would understand why Phoebe’s lips were so pale and eyes so dull?
    Jack McGrath was a man who was happiest without a collar. He preferred his trousers a size too large and his boots loosely laced. You might confuse the roll of his walk with that of a sailor’s, but you have not made the study of walks I have—this was not a sailor’s walk, it was the walk of a man who has covered twenty thousand dusty miles beside his bullock teams. He had drunk champagne from metal pannikins and called it “Gentleman’s Grog”. He had slept beneath his wagon and on top of it. He had hidden his gold in a hollowed-out yoke and drunk from dams that held more mud than water. He had, before he became a rich man, eaten a picturesque array of animals, reptiles, and birds. But he was not, not in any way, upset by his wife’s restrictions in regard to picnics. “It was as if,” Phoebe said later, “he was
proud
of the whole nonsense mother went on with, as if it suggested some height of gentility and femininity few women might hope to attain. I don’t think he ever saw how bleak the picnic spots were. All he could see was an advertisement for the sensitivity of his wife’s beautiful skin. He was very proud of her.”
    Good dear Jack would never understand why anyone would slight his wife. He could not see that there was any differencebetween a picnic and having a drink with old A.D. (which he did often enough) in Finch’s Railway Hotel. He would never learn the difference between having a drink with a man and sharing a feed with his family. You never met a man who seemed to make so few social distinctions. He would have anyone to his house who would come—bishops and rabbit-ohs, limping ex-servicemen and flash characters from the racetrack. They brought him presents or took him down, told lies or their true life stories and he stamped his foot and filled their glasses and took them for joy-rides in the Hispano Suiza. He was one of the worst drivers I ever met. He had no feel for machinery at all. (In all the years I sold cars to cockies I only met three men who were worse, and one of them killed himself on that narrow bridge at Parwan North.)
    It’s a strange thing that men who could handle animals with great feeling and sensitivity (and Jack was one of them) suddenly turned into clumsy oafs the minute they got behind the wheel.
    There he goes—out the driveway, Molly sitting rigidly in the front, Phoebe hiding behind a wide-brimmed black hat in the back. They lurch on to Eastern Avenue. Jack rides the clutch. The engine roars. He grates it into second before he has sufficient revs and then shudders along beside the beach, heading north towards the brass tap at Balliang East.
    To the McGraths’ neighbours the style of departure proved everything, i.e., that he had no right to own such a car. He had no right to be in Western Avenue at all or, for that matter, to send his daughter to the Hermitage. He had built an ugly yellow-brick garage to house his flashy auto, and offered his filthy hen eggs across the fence, holding them out in a hat whose sweaty felt radiated an offensive intimacy.
    But as Jack drove north he gave not a thought to the effect of grating gears on neighbours’ ears. He held the wheel so tight his burly arms would later ache. He called this ache “arthritis” but it was caused by hanging on too hard. His wife suffered similar aches and pains which, although occurring in different places, were caused by the same fearfulness. Only when they were past the cable trams, the Sunday jinkers and the T Models did the older McGraths relax a little.
    It was a hot day and the wind was dry. Phoebe sat in the back and