peace across the board, but then I saw your photo. And, odd as it might seem to some, I feel itâs you that I owe the greatest apology, that youâre the person I never made amends to, the crime I was never called into account for. Iâm sure others feel differently, but theyâll see me dead soon enough and then they will be happy, or so they think. I also accept that you might not be that interested in hearing from me and, in fact, I have engaged in a little subterfuge to get this letter to you, via a sympathetic third party, a person I absolutely trust. This is her handwriting, not mine, incase you care, and by sending it via her, I have avoided the problem of prying eyes, as much for your protection as for mine. But I canât help being curious about your life, which must be pretty nice, if your husband has the kind of job that leads to being photographed at the kind of parties that end up in Washingtonian, with him in a tux and you in an evening dress. You look very different, yet the same, if that makes any sense. Iâm proud of you, Elizabeth, and would love to hear from you. Sooner rather than later, ha-ha!
Yours, Walter
And thenâjust in case she didnât remember the full name of the man who had kidnapped her the summer she was fifteen and held her hostage for almost six weeks, just in case she might have another acquaintance on death row, just in case she had forgotten the man who had killed at least two other girls and was suspected of killing many others, yet let her live, just in case all of this might have slipped her mindâhe added helpfully:
(Walter Bowman)
2
1984
WALTER BOWMAN WAS GOODâLOOKING. Anyone who said otherwise was contrary, or not to be trusted. He had dark hair and green eyes and skin that took a tan well, although it was a farmerâs tan. He wasnât a farmer, actually, but a mechanic, working in his fatherâs garage. Still, the result was the same, as far as his tan went. He would have liked to work with his shirt off on warm days, but his father wouldnât hear of it.
He was good-looking enough that his family teased him about it, as if to make sure he wouldnât get conceited. Yes, he was a little on the short side, but so were most movie stars. Claude, at the barbershop, had explained this to him. Not that Claude compared Walter to a movie starâClaude, like his family, like everyone else in town, seemed intent on keeping Walter in his place. But Claude mentioned one day that he had seen Chuck Norris at a casino in Las Vegas.
âHeâs an itty-bitty fella. But, then, all movie stars are little,â Claude said, finishing up. Walter loved the feel of the brush on the back of his neck. âThey have big heads, but small bodies.â
âHow little?â Walter had asked.
âThe size of my thumb,â Claude said.
âNo, seriously.â
âFive seven, five eight. âBout your size.â
That was what Walter wanted to hear. If Chuck Norris was about his size, well, that was almost the same as Walter being like Chuck Norris. Still, he needed to make one small clarification for the record.
âIâm five nine. Thatâs average height for a man, did you know that? Five nine for a man, five four for a woman.â
âIs that the average,â Claude asked, âor the median? Thereâs a difference, you know.â
Walter didnât know the difference. He might have asked, but he suspected Claude didnât really know either, and all he would get was Claude making fun of his ignorance.
âAverage,â he said.
âWell someone has to be average,â said Claude, who was tall, but skinny and kind of pink all overâsplotchy skin, pale, pale red hair, watery eyes that were permanently narrowed from years of staring at the hair that lay across his barber scissors. Everyone was always trying to put Walter in his place, keep him down, stop him from being what he might be.