to Instagram. She rarely
approves them, but that’s because she’s a perfectionist of the highest order. A
control freak. But also one of the most loyal and fun people I know. And don’t
tell her I told you this but the photos she does approve, she looks bad in.
Pretty but angry and cold, like that’s sexy. Maybe that’s how she wants to
look, I don’t know.
“I can’t
say it again,” I say to her, grabbing a piece of baguette and smooshing it into
the oil. Mmm. She didn’t really drop her jaw in it, because you know, she’s not
a cartoon. Damn – great sex sure does make my mind goofy. I shove the
yummy bread in my mouth with a playful smirk.
“You must
say it again, because I cannot believe it,” she commands me.
“No.”
“Yes!”
“Okay.” I
reach for the already half-gone glass of white wine in front of me… and take an
extraordinarily long dramatic pause. I love to tease. I soak in gleefully her anticipation as I drink slowly, until Amber
can hardly stand it.
I’m so
glad to have a friend who doesn’t mind drinking at 2 p.m. on a weekday with me,
when I’ve got news like this. We never really need a reason. I decide this is the
perfect moment to tell her that. Overly sweet, I say, “I love that we can drink
at lunch like this. It makes me feel really close to you.”
“Shut up!
Tell me again what you did, Jessica, or I will punch you right now in front of
all these people. Because I am telling you – I. Do. Not. Believe it.” She
got really quiet on that last part. Amber couldn’t look menacing if she tried.
Her petite frame, small hands, blue eyes, and blond hair wouldn’t allow it. She
could look like a fairy, maybe… just not a menacing fairy. Still, the volume of
her attempt, created an audience. People are looking at us. I love this shit.
“Okay,” I
say and lean forward to whisper really quietly. She leans in, so excited, her thin prettily-shaped eyebrows raised up
in expectation. I can’t help myself. I yell really loudly right in her face, “I
had amazing sex with a guy I met on the Internet!!!”
She
whoops, bounces backward in her chair and looks around. Sure enough, all eyes
are on us, forks suspended, men growing pup tents (I’m guessing), and women
shocked, secretly so incredibly jealous.
I
announce to the room, “I’m kidding! Just kidding.” They go back to eating. “No,
I’m not!” Amber and I start laughing so hard that the whole place gets very
annoyed…except for the men. They are trying not to peak at me, my tits, my
legs. It’s tough enough for them to not look at women, without my bringing up
the word “sex” in a public place -and with no
shame .
When our giggling
fit ends, we both bury our grins into our glasses to collect ourselves, act
like ladies. We are not trashy… not at all. Both Amber and I are put-together
women who have decent jobs, even though we aren’t passionate about them (hence the drinking like we don’t
care – because we don’t). Well, I guess Amber is passionate about hers
– she works in casting – but since it’s her own business, she can
skip out, and create her own schedule. We’ve both got good relationships with
our families and our friends, blah blah blah. But damn if it isn’t boring
sometimes to be that “together.” So trashy, no. A little wild? Hell yes.
“What was
it like?” she asks, leaning in closer to me as she pulls some long
honey-colored strands of hair behind her ear, out of habit. So “Amber” of her. I love it when she
does that.
I lean
in, too (show is over, people) and tell the truth. “The crazy thing is, it was
incredible. This guy looked like he was out of a movie. He knew how to move his
hips the right way, like a dancer would, you know how they do that thing?” She
nods, grinning. “He wasn’t afraid to look at me either, but not too much, you
know? He didn’t get creepy about it, or go the other way…”
“Like
he’s trying to be Casanova but there is no
Marcus Emerson, Sal Hunter, Noah Child