How to Be Popular Read Free Page A

knows why they chose a fish, since we’re a land-locked county—is where everyone turns around and heads back down to Bloomville Creek Park for another lap.
    “Oh.” Mom looked disappointed. Well, and why shouldn’t she? What parent wants to hear that her child is going to spend her last Saturday night of summer vacation driving up and down the main drag? She doesn’t know how much better this is than sitting there watching other people do it.
    Although Mom’s idea of fun is putting the kids to bed and watching Law and Order with a big bowl of Ben and Jerry’s Vanilla Heath Bar Crunch. So her judgment must obviously be called into question.
    “How much longer you gonna be, huh, Crazytop?” Jason asked. I was reaching for the cash drawer, to startcounting out the day’s receipts. I knew that if they didn’t tally to be equal to or greater than this day’s receipts from last year, my mom was going to have a coronary.
    “I wish someone would give me a criminal mastermind nickname,” Becca hinted—not very subtly—with a sigh.
    “Sorry, Bex,” Jason said. “You don’t have the recognizable facial characteristic—such as a huge chin, or a large amount of real estate between the eyes—that would merit the bestowing of a criminal mastermind nickname, such as Lockjaw or Walleye. Whereas Crazytop here…well, just look at her.”
    Sixty-seven, sixty-eight, sixty-nine, seventy singles.
    “At least I can blow-dry my hair straight,” I pointed out. “Which is more than I can say for your nose, Hawkface.”
    “Stephanie!” my mom cried, appalled that I would make fun of Jason’s long, slightly too-large nose to his face.
    “It’s okay, Mrs. Landry,” Jason said with a mock heavy-hearted sigh. “I know I’m hideous. Avert your gazes, all of you.”
    I rolled my eyes, because Jason is so very far from hideous—as I know, only too well—and lifted the cash drawer out of the register, then walked to the back of the store to lock it up in the safe in my mom’s office overnight. I didn’t mention to her that we’re a hundred dollars shy of last year’s day’s total, and fortunately, she was too freaked out by my being so mean to Jason to ask.Like she hasn’t heard him call me Crazytop approximately nine million times. She thinks it’s “cute.”
    Mom’s never met Mark Finley, so obviously she doesn’t really know what cute is.
    On the way to the back, I noticed that Mr. Huff, one of our regulars, was engrossed in the latest Chilton’s for Mustangs. His three children, of whom he has custody on weekends, were busy wrecking the Brio train set we put out for kids to play with while their parents shop.
    “Hey, guys,” I said to the little Huffs, who were ramming the train’s caboose up an Arwen action figure’s dress. “We have to close now. Sorry.”
    The kids groaned. Their dad clearly doesn’t have as many cool toys at his house to play with as we did at the store.
    Mr. Huff looked up, surprised. “Is it really closing time?” he asked, and looked at his watch. “Oh, wow, look at that.”
    “Way to pull a Steph Landry, Dad,” eight-year-old Kevin Huff said with a laugh.
    I just stood there, staring at the kid as he grinned toothily back at me. It was clear he had no idea what he’d just said. Or who he’d said it in front of.
    The thing is, though, it’s okay. Because I’ve got The Book now.
    And The Book is going to save me.

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    If you’re not popular, it’s important to examine the possible reasons why.
    There could be many reasons, of course.
Do you suffer from body odor?
Do you have acne?
Are you particularly over- (or under-) weight?
Are you the class clown (practice inappropriate humor)?

    Probably not, since the above are all easily remedied through cosmetic products, diet and exercise, and self-control.

    If you answered no to the above questions, then your case of unpopularity is more serious.

    Your unpopularity might be something you brought upon yourself.

    Suppose you