How Long You Should Wait to Have Sex: a Novel Read Free Page A

expression metaphorically. I was describing a means of maintaining control over what is and isn’t said about your clients in the press, by being in charge of the means by which rumors are exposed. I didn’t mean for it to be taken literally.”
    “I know. But it was still really good advice.” I recognize that I may be buttering him up a little extra, in hopes of softening the blow of whatever he’s taking me to the principal’s office to scold me about.
    To my surprise (although it shouldn’t have been), we take a last minute left turn into the kitchen, where the rest of my co-workers surround a cake, with the numbers “three” and “zero” flaming at the top of it.
    “You know, my birthday’s not really until tomorrow, so let’s not age me prematurely here. Ha-ha.” I know they say all publicity is good publicity, but we in the public relations business know that’s not true. If it weren’t for our hard work and spin, most publicity would be bad publicity, and even our magical touch can’t do anything to help a murderer, a racist ranter, or an accurate public announcement of one’s real age to all her co-workers. This is definitely bad publicity.
    Henry tries his hand at spinning it anyway, “You should be proud, Samantha. You’ve accomplished a lot for your age. Hell, you’re the best publicist I’ve ever had working for me!”
    Daggers shoot at me from the eyes of every non-assistant in the room. Great, now they all hate me. Thanks, Henry. Well, at least that took the focus away from my age.
    Henry senses my discomfort, and once again comes to my rescue, if you can call it that, “Hey, if you guys don’t like being second and third best, you’re welcome to try to take her place at the top. I’ve got no problem changing my mind, and passing on the crown and scepter as soon as one of you shows me that I should.”
    Well, that wasn’t awkward.
    I try to lighten up the mood, “Should we sing happy birthday to me, or just go straight to eating cake? I haven’t eaten today, so I’m more than happy to dig in if you guys aren’t up for singing right now.”
    No one responds, making me feel ever so much more awkward. Which is why I figure I may as well throw caution to the wind, and humiliate myself further, in hopes of advancing my cause, “So, any of you know any great single guys who might be interested in meeting up with me tonight at K-Bar?”
     

Chapter 3
     
    Five hours until midnight. Two hours until I’ve promised I’d be at the bar. Lacey is going to be here any minute. I plan to get there early so we can settle in and have a drink before people start to arrive. I’ve found that a little drink can calm the nerves before any date, and tonight I’ve set myself up on a blind date with destiny. So let’s double that.
    Hair is done. Makeup looks great. Now all I have to do is put on this soon to be historic purple dress. As I slip the dress up my body, I remember why I chose it for this momentous occasion. The silkiness makes me feel both sexy and sweet. The tailoring hugs my body in all the thin places (my waist), while being more forgiving in the hips. And the aforementioned décolleté makes my breasts look just slightly more cleavalicious than they actually are.
    I reach back to grab the delicate zipper, trying not to get it stuck on the luxurious silk chiffon fabric, as it usually likes to do. Careful, careful… The zipper rides up, and gets stuck, not because of the fabric, but because of my girth. To get the dress closed from here I would need to pull the dress tighter near the waist, while I pull the bottom of the zipper down, and zip the handle up. Basically, I need three hands. This is why I need a man in my life!
    I suck in my breath and carefully try to cinch it up, but as soon as I let out my breath, the zipper rides back down to the top of my hips. Patience is the key. I try again, holding my breath until I’m sweating my perfect makeup job right down my face. Finally,