Hotline to Murder Read Free Page A

prevent him from, heaven
forbid, actually having to walk into the kitchen to get more beer.
Empty cans littered Tony’s carpet, undoubtedly dripping beer into
it.
    “I can’t talk with that thing on,” Tony
shouted, over more explosions. He headed for the stairs.
    Josh picked up the remote, aimed it at the
TV like a gun, and muted the sound. “There. I don’t want to hurt
your sensitive ears. Here, have a brewski.”
    He picked a can out of the cooler and tossed
it to Tony, oblivious to the fact that it was wet from melted ice.
As Tony caught it, cold water spattered his face, arms, T-shirt,
and jeans.
    “So, how did things go during your first
night on the Hotstuff Line?”
    That wasn’t a question Tony could even begin
to answer, given his current state of mind. He was still thinking
about the suicide call. He popped open the can and took a long
swallow. The cold bite of the liquid felt good sliding down his
throat. Maybe this was what he needed.
    “What’s the matter? Some pussy got your
tongue? Talk to Uncle Josh. Okay, let’s start at the beginning. I
believe, back in the days when you were actually speaking to me,
you said you would find out where the Hotline office is for the
first time tonight. So, where is it? And sit down, for God’s sake.
Don’t look like you’re about to fly off and execute some noble
deed.”
    Josh flipped back his too long, but already
thinning, red hair and folded his hands on his ample belly, while
precariously balancing his beer can on said belly.
    Tony sat down on the sofa underneath the
living room windows. He took another long swallow. He had to talk
to Josh sooner or later because Josh never let go. But it hadn’t
occurred to him that he was going to have trouble with this
question. “The location is confidential.”
    “The location is confidential.” Josh
mimicked him, but with a voice of exaggerated piety. “So this is
how you treat your uncle Josh, after all the years we’ve known each
other, after all we’ve been through together. After all the times I
saved your worthless ass in college when you were about to flunk a
course. After all the girls I fixed you up with. This is how it
ends. ‘The location is confidential.’”
    “Can the damned dramatics, Josh. I’m not
going to tell you, okay? I signed a statement, and I’m not going to
risk getting fired. I’ll tell you anything else.”
    “I didn’t know you could get fired from a
volunteer job. But Josh has a big heart, and I’ll let it pass. Even
though it’s breaking. And let me risk another question, even if it
means another bruise on my ego. You told me you were going to have
a mentor tonight. Tell me about your mentor.”
    Tony said, “Yes, I did have a mentor. She
was very good.”
    “Jesus, you sound like a first-grade reader.
What was her name?”
    “Uh, Sally,” Tony said, using Shahla’s
Hotline alias. Among his other faults, Josh was a bigot.
    “And is this Sally a babe?”
    The last thing Tony was going to do was to
admit to Josh that she was a babe. He said, “She’s a teenager.
She’s seventeen.”
    “So, is there a statute of limitations on
babedom? Today’s teenyboppers are hot. I’ll bet she was wearing
low-cut jeans and a top that was barely there. And a thong. Did you
happen to notice when she bent over? Or does your new-found
sanctity prevent you from peeking?”
    Josh was uncomfortably close to the truth.
To head him off, Tony said, “I took several calls. One was from a
guy who was talking about blowing his brains out.”
    “Holy shit.” Josh’s blue eyes widened, and
he looked at Tony with what might be respect. “Did he have a
piece?”
    “He said he did.”
    “What kind?”
    “Our discussion didn’t go into that kind of
detail. I got him to take it into another room.”
    “So, did you convince him that life was
worth living?”
    Tony hesitated. That was the question he had
been asking himself all the way home. “I…I’m not sure.”
    “You mean, at this