Horizons Read Free Page B

with my career wasn’t exactly appealing.
    “Do you always shy away from carbs?” I asked, noting the lack of rice or potatoes on Jody’s plate.
    He shook his head and swallowed before answering. “Not really. I just watch what I eat. I can’t afford to get love handles at my age. Once they creep up they’re hard to get rid of.”
    “What are you, twenty-six?”
    “I knew that French cream was a good investment,” he joked. “I’m thirty-three.”
    “Big deal, you’re not that old.”
    “That’s easy for you to say. You’re still in your twenties. Once you pass thirty, it’s downhill all the way.”
    “Aww, come on, you look great.” Our eyes met and held, the unspoken words thick as syrup between us. My cheeks felt like they were on fire, so I quickly looked down at my food, attacking my baked potato with my fork.
    “Clark?”
    “Yeah?”
    Jody reached across the table and laid his hand on mine. “Is there something you want to tell me?”
    I yanked my hand back, scanning the place to see if anyone was watching. Jody was clearly taken aback by my reaction. His warm smile turned frosty, and he withdrew and put both his hands on his lap. I was ashamed of what I had just done, but it was too late. I wanted to say “I’m sorry.” Instead I remained silent.
    The evening was ruined after that. Conversation became stilted, and I could tell that Jody wanted to get out of there as soon as possible. We finished our meal, declined dessert, and when I asked for the check, he reached for his wallet.
    “Don’t, please,” I insisted. “I told you this was my treat.”
    “And I told you it wasn’t necessary, Clark, but thanks anyway.”
    Those were the last words he spoke that night. I wanted to say so much, yet I ended up saying nothing, an omission that would haunt me for days.

Chapter 2

     
    W E DROVE to the hospital parking lot in silence. I pointed out my car, a beat-up Volvo I’d inherited from my mother, and he pulled up beside it and waited silently as I got out. He nodded when I thanked him, but took off without saying a word.
    I stood as he drove away, the custom license plate mocking me with the letters PROUD2B framed with a thin strip of rainbow colors.
    The inside of my car was a disaster; a rolling locker room filled with clothes, books, and fast-food wrappers. The odor of worn cleats and day-old coffee added to the mix. I made a mental note to get the shit cleaned up, even though I knew the likelihood of that happening was pretty slim.
    The drive from the hospital up Telegraph Avenue toward the Cal campus was slow that evening. It was Saturday night after all, and the streets were clogged with bikers and pedestrians. I tried to rein in my impatience, but I was fidgety and angry, probably because the last hour of an otherwise pleasant evening had turned sour due to my fucking homophobic behavior.
    He must think I’m the biggest ass.
    I got to my building and ran up the stairs two at a time, trying to blow off some steam. The look on Jody’s face when I pulled my hand away was stuck in my head. I got to my apartment and fumbled with the door, finally pushing it open and then slamming it shut behind me.
    The light on my answering machine was blinking so I hit the button and listened to the message while I wandered over to the fridge to pull out a beer.
    “Hey, Clark… it’s me.” Nikki’s perky voice reverberated. “Call me when you get in. I’d love to hook up.”
    No surprise there. She was my self-proclaimed stalker, following me around since I was in the eighth grade. Nikki had developed a thing for me years ago, and it continued to this day even though I told her it was going nowhere.
    She was persistent and also very convenient. Somehow she always ended up in my bed, which had people thinking we were a couple when nothing could be further from the truth. The reality was that our sexual encounters meant nothing to me. She was a means of release, someone I was comfortable with who